Thursday Random Thoughts

1. Why do I offer and why do people get advantage.
I've asked my brother last week if they needed help with my niece's 1st bday party. They've ordered catering but asked my mom and myself to cook some stuff as well.
Bro: "So, can you make xachapuri (piroshki with cheese) for the party?"
Me: "Sure. How many?"
Bro: "100"
Me: giggling "That is not funny. Really, how many do you need?"
Bro: "I was not kidding"
I thought a whole of 2 minutes, did the calculation, and replied back saying that I won't be able to make that many. It'll take me 4-5 hours to make 100 pieces. Plus, having a toddler who needs to eat, play, and constantly be entertained.... no way jose.

2. Why do I do this to myself?
I started reading blogs that I follow and sometimes I click on other blogs just to see. I start reading about the pregancy difficulties, terrifying birth stories, children born with special conditions. I freak myself out. I know we don't live in a perfect world and we all have difficulties in life, but every time I read those stories it terrifies me, freaks the shit out of me, and makes me depressed and sorry for those people. And to be honest, I am afraid of those things happening to me. And after those sad thoughts, I don't know if I want to go through another pregnancy.

3. Why is it still dark outside at 5pm?
I am so tired of winter time. Even though it is not cold in Bay Area, it is dark after I get off work and pick up miss A from daycare. We can't go to a playground, park, or to the lake to feed the birds. We usually go home and miss A needs to be entertained. A few hours of being home, my house looks like a tornado just went through it.

4. We've been invited to a bday party. I have a few options - check my closet for an outfit or go shopping. I think like any other girl I'll choose the shopping.

5. As I mentioned earlier, it is my niece's 1st bday party this Sunday. I just looked at the evite list and my "dearest" cousin replied that he is coming. Never mind, that he hasn't yet met miss A and she turned two already. Don't even get me started. At this point, I don't even know how to act around him and his family.

6. I want a clean house. How do I get it? We've hired a cleaning lady and she's been at our house twice already. But I don't feel like it is clean. I feel the urge to clean two days after they come.

7. I want a wife. Yes, a wife who'll be doing things for me, care for me, cook dinner for me, pick up after me, do laundry for me, and so on. I would love to have a full time wife (or assistant). Wouldn't life be easier?

8. I've got work to do but I am soooooo unmotivated.

9. Miss A gets bored with her ToyRUs at home and I am running out of ideas how to entertain her. We usually color, watch cartoons, play with stickers, read books. Lately, her obsession has been a Toy Story puzzle that I picked up at Walgreens for $0.14 cents after Christmas. Who needs expensive toys when you've got super cheap puzzles? She puts it together in 4-5 minutes and then takes the pieces out, rinse and repeat 10 more times.

10. I keep reminding myself to sink in every minute of life and people around. I keep telling myself to be optimistic. It is definitely an area I need to work on. I need to find my happy place.