Thursday, December 1, 2011

2 Years Stats

Weight - 28 lbs (around 75%)
Height - 34 inch (around 75%)

Miss A got one flu shot this time and now that she is older and understands more, all the way to the house I heard her sobbing and saying "bol'" in Russian, meaning it hurts.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

2 Years Old!

Our baby girl turned two years old today! That is just crazy... I kept repeating this over and over to myself in my head but it is still crazy to think that we have a toddler in the house. I thought her turning one was special and the birthdays after that would be just full of fun and no tears from this mama. Boy, was I wrong. I am still teary. In fact, my eyes are all watery right now as I sit and type this blog.

My darling, birthday girl!

I can't believe it is been another year. Another amazing year full of new accomplishments, laughs, tears, giggles, and fun times. You've become such an amazing little person already.

You are patient, clever, and strive to do your best at everything you put your hands (or feet) on. You'll do things 10, 20, 30 times until you get them right.

Your favorite activity is to turn the music on and dance and jump around the house. You don't let me just sit around and enjoy the view. I need to be right there on the floor (without slippers) with you.

You love your gymnastics class. You've become quite a master at climbing, jumping, stretching and rolling. It is been three months since we've signed you up and you are already ahead of the older kids, who've been going there for a year. Keep it up, my little champ!

You are carrying and sympathetic. If you see someone in pain, you'll walk up and give a hug.

You love your grandpa. Whenever you see him, your face lights up and you have the biggest smile. You start jumping and yelling "Dede". He loves hearing you call him "dede" because right when you started "talking" and calling everyone by their name, you skipped grandpa for some reason. You would just point at him.

You are full time in daycare and you seem to like it. I am not going to lie, it was a bit hard to have strangers watch after you all day long. But we did it! I stopped worrying and trusted your teachers. You stopped crying after the first week and seem to like it now.

You love attention! Who doesn't??? All eyes and ears must be on you, especially if you are being cute and silly.

You are quite charming. Relatives, friends, and strangers always make a comment how lady like you are already.

You are doing OK with potty training. You always ask to go potty for #2 and we'll have to work on #1.

Your vocabulary is increasing every day and it is so much fun to hear you express yourself. You've started finally linking 2-3 words together and creating sentences.
You still don't talk that much, but I am sure our ears will be hurting in a few months or so.

You love to watch cartoons with daddy before going to sleep. You'll sit on his laps and I leave you two alone for 5-10 minutes. It melts my heart to see him hugging you and you having your arms around his. You have no idea how alike you are at that moment when you both so intensely stare at TV.

You make the cutest sounds - "Aaaah" and "Uummmm". For example, I tell you to put a sweater on before a jacket and you say "Ahhh". I say you can have a candy after diner and you say "Aahh". It is like a realization that you forgot and I just reminded you. I asked you yesterday where daddy was and you go "Ummm" (lifting your head up and thinking). These sounds make me laugh all the time.


You are just amazing, wonderful, and loving little kid. I can't believe I've been so lucky to have you in my life. I wish for you to always stay healthy (this is the most important part). I wish you life full of happiness and success. I wish for you to have as many close friends as you can. I wish for you to become a smart, independent, loving, and carrying woman. I can't even express my love to you in words. But I want you to know that I do and always will love you with all my heart. You are a jewel and the most precious treasure of my life.

Happy Birthday, my little lady!

With lots of love,
Mom

November 16th, 2011

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Bye Bye Paci

Last Friday, my parents picked up miss A from daycare and they forgot her pacifier there. We had none at home left and I totally freaked out when I came to take her home. I stopped to think of a plan how we'll survive the next few days without a pacifier. A minute later I was calling the husband and told him to pick up a pack of new pacifiers at the Baby R Us and that he shouldn't come home without one. The visions of constant crying and tantrums filled up my mind. We were totally screwed!I knew we were coming closer and closer to a point where we would need to take it away from her, but I just wasn't mentally nor physically ready for it. She never falls asleep without one. She wakes up at night and cries until we put it back into her mouth. She occasianly cries in the car and asks for it. It was our best friend, our savior, our survival tool. And without one, well, we were totally screwed. Or so I thought. Apparently, the husband came home late on Friday and miss A fell asleep without a paci (on my laps, but I was fine with it). She did point at her mouth with a finger (that is her way of asking for her paci) and I simply explained that we have none at home and we forgot it at daycare. I was ready for a crying fist but she just blinked and said "Da" (yes in Russian).

The next day she didn't ask for it at all. But the tantrums began. Every few hours she would start crying if something wasn't going her way. It was too much. It made me wonder if our child was good because she had her blinky pretty often in her mouth and without it we would have those tantrus regularly for the past 22 months.

On Sunday, she asked for it once and I explained again that we have none at home. This was followed by a few more tantrums. But we survived the weekend without a paci! I am so proud of my little girl and I think the husband and I deserve a round of applause! I will probably return the new package he got back to the store, or maybe, just maybe, I'll keep it for a few more days.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Last Year of the Twenties

The title says it all. I turned 29 on Wednesday and I am not sure how I feel about it. It sounds both old and young. We went to Las Vegas for a few days and my parents joined us as well. Miss A had a blast swimming in the pool and jumping on the wave in the kid's area. She loved the "train" or as grown ups call it, the tram station. She made choo choo sounds while we waited for it to come and waved and kept repeating buh bye (like 50 times) after we reached our destination.

DH and I went to see a show on Monday night and left miss A with my parents. She slept in their room and that was the first night she ever spent without us in her 22 months of life :) I felt a bit guilty leaving her but I knew she was in great hands. Plus, DH and I needed some time for just the two of us. We walked the streets of Las Vegas, grabbed a taxi to the Wynn hotel, ordered some food, and off we went to see one of the greatest shows LV has to offer. We had fun! We laughed, we talked, we held hands, we shared food, we took pictures.....

The day of my actual bday was a bit hectic though. We had to pack and check out from our room by noon. Then we did some shopping and went straight to the airport. By the time we got home, it was already around 9pm and I was exhausted (so much for a little vacation). I unpacked (hate when the luggage sits in the dining/living room), bathed miss A and she finally fell asleep around 10pm. The whole day I kept forgetting that it was my actual bday. In fact, even DH forgot to wish my happy bday in the morning (not cool at all). I did get quite a few calls from my girlfriends wishing me happy bday and that made me feel good. One of the old co-workers emailed me and wished me to make the best of the last year of my twenties. Holy cow! When you make it sound like that, I feel old. There are some things I won't accomplish before turning 30 (like getting my masters, find a better job) but I already have the best things life has to offer and that is MY FAMILY! I am blessed to have them all in my life!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Daycare

Well, we've officially started daycare on Tuesday (09/06/11). We took miss A to daycare a few times before the official start date to meet the kids and get comfortable there.

I am freaking out! My heart hurts every morning V calls me after he drops our daughter off. I am sure he is sugar coating the details, so it only makes me feel worse. For the first two days, she started crying when they parked the car. She didn't want to go in and wanted daddy to hold her. She was waving her finger to the teacher and saying "no, no, no', like you can't take me aways from daddy since he is holding me. Today he called me and said thing went a bit better. She got out of the car, walked to the door by herself, but wanted daddy to hold her when he rang the bell. She wasn't really crying, just a bit moody, I guess. Man, when does it get easier? And I am not even the one dropping her off (which I have to say I am very thankful).

Yesterday, I picked her up from school. I can't even describe what I was feeling while driving. Anticipation, joy, butterflies in my stomach. I wanted to hug her and kiss her. I wanted to know she was OK and taken care of. I wanted to know she was happy at the place we chose for her.

It is hard right now to accept that my little girl is becoming more independent. It is hard to accept that her teachers get to spend more hours of the day with her. They get to see her laugh, learn new things, watch her eyes go wide when she accomplished a new task All. By. Herself., interact with other kids, and just be her charming self. I didn't feel that way when my mom used to watch her. My mom would tell me the little details of their day like what they did, learned, funny things miss A said and so on. I would picture those details in my head and it was almost like I was with miss A all day :) Now it is all different. I am thankful she got to spend 21.5 months at home with grandma. I realize that now is a good time for her to be around kids, since she was becoming bored at home. But I can't help myself but feel just a bit sad... And here we go, I am getting teary yet again.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Nap Free Day

Our first (and hopefully last in the next few years) nap free day was this past Sunday. I know she was tired and sleepy but she just didn't want to fall asleep and stay asleep.

I took her to an inside playground for a good 1.5 hours, fed her lunch, gave her milk....but nooooooo, she didn't want to sleep. She danced, jumped, sang, and was just being silly in bed. Her dear daddy didn't help either. Every time she was close to dosing off, he would open or close the door to the bedroom and she would be open her eyes again. After an hour of trying everything and anything to help her sleep, I just gave up. I was moody and grumpy. Her nap time is usually my time to clean, cook, do laundry or just relax on the couch. I had a plan in my head to wash the floors and then place my butt on a couch and enjoy a cup of tea without any bugging me.

The husband played a Baby Einstein Lullaby DVD for her hoping the soft music will help her dose off. But at the end, he fell asleep on the couch while she stared at the TV. While she watched the cartoon, I was able to wash the floors and take care of some other stuff, but I was still a bit grumpy I didn't get my little break.

After diner at my parent's house, miss A took a bath. I put pjs on her and dried her hair while she sat on my lap. And at that moment, at 8:45 pm, she finally fell asleep before I even finished drying her hair. I took it as a good sign and a chance to go to bed early. And while I tip toed to my bed, I glanced at the clock on the nightstand and couldn't believe my eyes. It showed 9:56pm. I happily pulled the blanket up to my chin and drifted off to sleep before 10:00pm.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Realization

After a few years of postponing my jury duty, I was called yet again. And this time I decided to take some time from work and actually make it to the court house.
I drove downtown, parked the car, and got to my assigned room at 8:45 along with 100 other people. We waited, and waited, and waited some more. Finally, at 11:00am some people were asked to come back at 1:30 and others, including me, stayed and waited some more. After a large cup of coffee and waiting for a few hours, it was time to calm myself down. I got myself a medium cup of mint tea and chocolate chip cookie. I settled into my seat and read my book without any interruptions. I was annoyed about the waiting part, but I enjoyed the quite and peaceful moment. Nobody interrupted me, nobody stood in front of me with big puppy eyes and asked for my cookie, nobody shut my book before I got a chance to see what I page I was on, nobody asked for dinner, nobody asked me to play with them. Ahhhh...if it wasn't for the most uncomfortable seat, I would say it was the best break from work and from my house.

But here is when it all turned a different direction for me. I was asked to come back at 1:30 as well. I had the whole 1.5 hours to myself and decided to go window shopping. As I was leaving the courtroom, I walked past the Family Services. I suddenly turned grey. I've noticed forms for divorce, family counseling, restraining orders, parent's visiting hours. I've noticed single mothers with 2 kids sitting and waiting for their appointment. I saw the sad faces of teenagers who were eyeing the floor and shuffling their legs. I saw and heard innocent toddler giggles who had no idea how their lives did/will change. I saw mothers who were tired and miserable. All kind of family stories went through my head, as I kept picturing what this and that family was going through. My heart was aching for all of them.

I remember myself being 12 years old and watchiing and living through the family drama as my parents seperated. Those seconds, minutes, and days all came back to my memory all too vividly. I ran out of the courtroom and was waiting for fresh air and wind to kick me in the face and smack me out of that state. I walked for 30 straight minutes, passing the homeless people, the unemployed, the beggers, the hookers and drug dealers. I kept thinking about my life and my family and how much I don't always cherish everything I have. These sad, depressed moments make me realize how thankful we all should be. I can't keep the fights, misunderstandings, and occasionally hormonal bitchiness out from my life, but I will cherish and treasure everyone and everything I have.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Can't Commit?

I guess I can't...I was trying to post at least once a week but it is still not happening. I have some great topics that I wanted to write about but once I am signed on to Blogger I forget all about them.

This week has been a little tough. I am so glad it is Friday. Miss A got sick on Tuesday and the next few nights were just brutal. Her nose was stuffed and since she still likes to sleep with her paci, she couldn't breath with her mouth. She woke up probably like 89 times during the next two nights. She wanted me to rock her to sleep (totally remember the newborn stage, but back then she was about 8lbs and not 24lbs). After a few minutes of rocker her, my hands would get tired so I would try to sit on a bed and still hold her. She would squeal until I got up and walked around the room with her in my arms.

The husband is also having some issues lately. His hands has been hurting him for a while to the point that he can't sleep at night or wakes up during the night and can't feel them. He's been seeing a doc through worker's comp for a few months. Now that that treatment is over, we are looking into new treatments for him. I've been encouraging him to see a chiropractor, physical therapist, and/or acupuncturist. Basically, I would want him to try everything possible before settling on the collagen shot or worse, doing a surgery. It is been tough on him and has been occupying his mind a lot too. This too shall pass...

Other then that, summer is looking like it is going to be filled with lots of birthdays. We've already replied "Yes" to 4 bday parties in the next few weeks. Hopefully, it'll help us forget about the everyday worries and help us enjoy the time with family and friends.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Mother's Day

I have been giving the best title in the world. No, it is not a manager, VP, CEO, or even royal highness (take that Kate M). I am a Mother and I consider it to be the best accomplishment and title in my life.

I gave her life - she taught me a whole new meaning to life

I give her my love - she taught me the love I never knew existed

I teach her new skills - she teaches me to have patience and understanding

I give her new toys - she reminds me to look at things from a new perspective
(and I love to watch her eyes sparkle when she sees new toys and can't wait for me to open them)

I take her to playgrounds, park - she let's me be a kid for those hours

I kiss and hug her - she kisses and hugs me back

I read her books - she reminds me to live in the moment and enjoy our precious time together




For all those reasons above and for many more, I feel truly honored to be called a Mother. I have the best present ever and that is my little, adorable Miss A :).

P.S. Thanks to the husband of course for helping me create this beautiful person. In this case, I honestly couldn't do it without his help :)

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Up and Down

I've been feeling a little down lately. I am not sure why and can't figure out the reason(s).

What may cause it?
1. We go through the same thing everyday. I mean routine is great but maybe we need to be spontaneous once in a while. After Miss A goes to bed and I clean the kitchen, the husband and I usually place our behinds on the couch and watch TV. Sometimes, that is all I want to do - have some tea and enjoy Modern Family or a good movie. But (there is always a but) I feel like we are just couch potatoes who just stare at the black box until I go to bed.

2. I feel like there is something missing right now from our relationship. The husband comes home late, we have diner, miss A goes to bed, and then see #1. We don't talk as much, sometimes it is hard to find topics to talk about during dinner. I feel like he is not very talkative lately. We hardly have time and almost always exhausted for sexy time. Is that why I don't feel like we are close anymore??? A lot of my girlfriends swear that sexy time spices things up. I totally agree, but (here we go again, but....) I try to "seduce" him occasionally when I am in a mood but he continues to stare at the stupid TV. Lately, I feel like he doesn't find me attractive anymore, not interested in having a conversation, not wanting to be in my company. I even asked him if he found someone... Yes, that is how paranoid I get. Maybe I am just hormonal...

3. I love spending time with Miss A. Since the weather has been great for the last couple of weeks, I take her to the playground after work. We spend 1-1.5 hours there and then head home and make dinner and play. I tell her everyday how much I love her. I kiss her everytime I get an opportunity and when she lets me. I hugg her and carry her around the house even though my hands started hurting. The husband is also truly, madly in love with our little girl. Why can't we be as affectione with each other as we are with miss A? Maybe we put all our feelings toward her and have little or nothing left to give each other at the end of the day.

Now you can see how I feel. I wonder if I am the only one feeling like this. I don't have that many friends who have kids so I can't really talk to them. I just hope this phase will pass.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Balancing Everything in Life

How do you do it? How do mothers everyday juggle work, kids, husband, house work and not having a meltdown every now and then. I wish I can find answers to this question.

I go through stages. Few weeks I am fine and think of myself as a super woman for going to work early, getting groceries, making diner while trying to entertain a very active toddler who just needs to see what mama is cooking otherwise she'll through a tantrum, feeding the active toddler diner, feeding the husband diner, play/chase the toddler, change the toddler into pjs, brush teeth (in our case one tooth), wash bottles, pack lunches for the next day, sometimes do laundry, pick up toys around the house, and finally sit down on the couch with a cup of tea. ***Such a run on sentence, but whatever***

After a few weeks of thinking I can handle it all, I have a meltdown. I feel like I don't get any help from the husband. I feel like I am the only one doing things constantly around the house, while the husband comes home late (around 8:30), eats diner and places his behind on the couch to chilax.

I've tried to loosen up a bit. And there are days when I can forget about the dirty kitchen floor and the laundry and just live in a moment and enjoy life. But there are also other days when I feel like my To Do list is growing on me. Like I try to watch a movie at night, but the only things going through my mind is that I have to pack lunches, clean-up the house, wash this, wash that, and so on...How you find balance in life, in motherhood??? That is the big question and I can't find the answer to it just yet.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Slacking Yet Again

I don't even know where to start. The date of my last post was 12/14/10. That is more then two months ago. Seriously, how come I find time to read the blogs that I follow but never write in my own blog? Am I lazy? Don't have enough time? Afraid to commit to write at least once a week? Having my train of thoughts disapper once I log in to blogger? Yes, yes, and yet again yes!

- I've started a new job. The last few weeks at my old jobs were pretty hectic, plus it didn't help that I was constantly arguing with myself if I made a right decision to leave. Apparently, I did. All of my co-workers...pause...just got interrupted by one of my colleagues. Anyways, back to the old job. My deparment will be laid of as of April 8 and only two people will be left. They told me they wanted to keep me if I changed my mind and stayed but who knows for how long? So, I think it was a right decision after all.

- Miss A is 15 months! Crazy! Everytime I look at her, I can't believe she is already such a big girl. She makes my world go around. I don't think there are words to explain my feelings for her. I love to look at her when she grasps new things, when she plays, when she babbles, when she sees puppies/playground/grandfather.
She is definitely a character with her own personality. She can smile at us and probably easily get anything she wants :) J/K. But, her daddy sure loves when she giggles and laughs. He can't keep his face straight :) Love watching them play together.

- Miss A stilld doesn't have teeth. I am worried...and have been worried for quite some time.I hate when other mothers always tend to ask about her teeth and if we've seen any in her mouth. I hate when they ask "what is the doctor saying". I hate how they put even more pressure and stress on me. Her pediatrician recommended we wait a few more months and if she'lls till won't have any teeth, then we'll call the dentist. I am hoping and praying we'll see some pearly whites pretty soon.

- Miss A is still at home with my Mom. We are lucky she gets to spend time at home and not get sick as much as the other kids do in daycare. Although, at this point, the husband and I agree that she needs to learn to play with other kids. We've started looking for a daycare and only liked one out of 5-6 that we've seen. Of course, it has to be the most expensive one.

- Miss A walks and runs around the house. She loves to help with unloading grocery bags and putting stuff in a fridge. She loves to watch me vacuum. Just wait girl, you might be doing it yourself pretty soon :) She recently started playing more and more by herself with her toys. It definitely gives us some free minutes to check emails or have lunch.

- She doesn't talk yet but babbles all the time now. However, she understand everything we tell her. Such a smart cookie :)

- And lastly, here are her stats from the 15 month appointment:
Weight - 22.6 lbs (a little less then 50%)
Height - 32 inch (almost 90%)

P.S. We are still co-sleeping. Don't judge, but this way we at least get some sleep and can easily hand her a pacifier when she cries for it. Yesterday, we had a new addition in our bed. She brought her doll with her to sleep. I accidentally put my elbow on the doll at night, while looking for a pacifier, and she said "I love you, kiss, kiss (sounds). I love you!" I am not so sure about this doll being in our bed, but maybe I'll take the batteries out and we'll get some decent sleep.