Thursday Random Thoughts

I've read a few blogs where people just list random thoughts on Thursday and I kind of like the idea, especially since I can't commit to post regularly and have quite a few thoughts currently on my mind.

1. I am emotionally, mentally, and a bit physically tired. The husband has been diagnosed with TOS a few months back. His hands would go numb at night and would hurt when he would lift heavy stuff. After countless amount of doctor's appointments and spending a few grand of $$$, they were finally able to tell he has TOS. I am not going to go into details about it but basically he can't lift heavy items (ex: our daughter, grocery bags, garbage, and so on). He basically can't do anything around the house and pretty much everything falls on me. I am not really complaining. I want him to get better but don't really know how long it'll take. The docs say if he'll continue the physical therapy, doing exercises at home, and acupuncture then it can take up to a year...

2. I am tired...I don't know if I am strong enough...It is definitely feels like a test for me, for him, and for our relationship.

3. Miss A is my little miracle that keeps me going. She is charming, caring, sympathetic, and is turning into such a cute little lady.

4. My BIL and SIL welcomed their second boy on 12/12/11. It is so nice to see their family grow. We know have 2 nephews and one niece.

5. I've been having thoughts about having a second child. I definitely want to have another one but at this point in life, I don't really know if it'll be possible (see #1). If the husband won't get better, then my dreams of having 2 or 3 kids and moving into a bigger house will stay as dreams only and will never turn into reality.

6. This probably should be part of #5 but when I see a pregnant women I get mixed feelings. I am not really a big fan of the whole 9 month pregnancy, 4 months of throwing up, waking up at night to pee multiple times, and the constant worry about the baby inside being healthy. But... but I do love seeing babies born, family growing from three to four, seeing pictures of brother and sisters playing together, and so on. I really hope we'll get a chance to become parents again. Maybe if I'll really believe in it then it'll happen.

7. I can't wrap my head around that it is 2012. Wow... days, weeks, months turn into a year and before I realize that year is gone.

8. I should probably start looking for another job. I am glad to have a job but I don't feel motivated or challenged. Some days would fly by but I can count those days on my fingers on one hand.

9. I really hope my Mom will find a job. She has been unemployed for almost two years. She helped us out and watched miss A after I returned to work and now has been really looking for a job for the last 5 months. It is making her depressed and worried and I don't like seeing her like that.

10. I wish I would have a magical wand to make every one's (well, almost every one's) problems disappear.

Well, there you have it - my random thoughts for today.