First Trip to the Hospital

Well, the title just says it all. It'll be a month tomorrow since our first ER trip.
What happened and how you might ask? Here are the details of that awful evening.

On Sunday night, we usually go to my parent's house for diner. But that Sunday we decided to go out instead to a sushi restaurant. We got a big table and Mr. V took Miss A from me and had her on his lap. The waitress brought tea and cups. I poured down the tea and gave everyone a cup. Now, the cups were pretty far away from Miss A. I would say somewhere in the middle of the table. Miss A, being her curious self, tried to reach for a plate, then chopsticks, and then one short second later she finally a cup of hot tea. The tea spilled on the table and reached my precious little girl. She started screaming and yelling. Honestly, I was so shocked that I had a very slow reaction. I took Miss A and ran to the bathroom with her like a maniac woman. I pulled paper towels and wet them with cold water and applied to the area where she got burned. She couldn't stop crying. She had tears pouring down her cute "little" cheeks and I didn't know what to do. I, the mother of this child, did not know what to do. I was lost. My mom and my brother were running back and forth. I kept asking to bring her diaper bag and they brought me my bag. Mr. V was on the phone calling our pediatrician but since it was after hours he wasn't able to reach anyone. Oh, and I guess he doesn't know about the option of a live nurse. I figured he was just as shocked as I was and totally didn't listen to all of the options on the phone.

I sat on the toilet holding my baby girl who couldn't calm down. She looked at me and I felt useless and helpless. She was waiting for me to soothe her and relief her from the pain but I didn't know how to do it. Finally, we decided to go to ER.

Ugh, I can't even describe what I felt as I walked into ER holding my baby, who by the way calmed down in the car and fell asleep. (I had to held her during the car ride. There was no way, I could strap her in the car seat. She needed me). After waiting for about an hour, the doctor looked at the burn area (little bit on the arm and a little more on her left side of the stomach), put some neosporin, gauze and tape, and off we went. The doc said it happens a lot. Geez, that didn't make me feel better.

For the next 2 weeks, we washed the burn area twice a day, applied neosporin, and placed the dressing on her wounds. I cried for the first two days when I changed her. My baby's girl skin was burned because I wasn't looking. I wasn't fast enough to reach that cup first. I wasn't thinking two steps ahead when I poured that tea. Her perfect and precious white skin had blisters and red spots on it. I felt guilty and I still do. My eyes are all watery as I type this. I felt even worse when both of my sister-in-laws told their families and friends what happened and they started calling us to check how Miss A was doing. I felt like people were judging me. I felt like I didn't deserve to be a mother. I felt like the whole world around us will think of us careless parents.

Now, the wounds and blisters are gone. She still has a little bit of red left on her stomach and hand but it is nothing comparing to what it was like before. I aim pretty sure it'll heel in the next few weeks. i bought a cart/high chair cover and that is what we use when we go out now. Oh and now we take turns drinking hot tea if Miss A is next to us. I wish we wouldn't have to learn from these kind of mistakes, but it happened and there is no way I can go back and change what happened that evening.

Mother's Day

To tell you the truth, I was a bit disappointed that day. I got up early to pump and feed Miss A breakfast. I didn't mind it at all. I got to spend time with her. I changed her and fed her breakfast. We played in her room quitly and then prepared breakfast for adults. Mr. V woke up and totally forgot that it was Mother's Day. As he was holding A, she kind of hit him in the arm. It was a perfect place for me to say "that is right A, I should punch daddy also for not remembering that it is Mother's day". He had that look on his face, you know which one I talk about. Oh crap, I f***ed up. He leaned and kissed me on the cheeck. That is right, no flowers, no surprise, and no gift (I picked out a purse a week before and he got it for me, but I was still thinking I would get something else. I am so naive). I don't know if it should make me feel better or not, but he totally forgot to congratulate his mom with this special holiday. Yeap, he talked to her in the morning and had to call back after I told him about me punching him :).

Apparently, hubbs was tired that day, so he decided to take a nap. Really? I thought it was my day to relax! I escaped to the grocery store, since my brother decided to have a gathering at his house. And get this, it was a potluck, so all couples had to bring something. I was pissed thinking that my mom and other women have to cook instead of taking time for themselves.

I did manage to get a mani/pedi that day, which I desperately needed since I started wearing open toe shoes.

I was upset that Mr. V didn't put any effort into making my first Mother's day special. But I think he also gets some credit because we never had this holiday back in former USSR. At the end of the day though, I realized that I don't need any surprises. I don't need any luxury gifts and attention from the hubby. It made me realize that I already had the most amazing gift in the whole wide world who melts my heart with her adorable smile. I think in the future, I'll be spending more time with my jewel during that holiday instead of taking time for myself. I'll be celebrating with her. After all, I am a mother because of her!!!

So Much To Write About

And so little time. I don't have enough time to blog. I think that is the perfect excuse for not updtating my blog. Work has been crazy lately and evenings are devoted to Miss A and other fun stuff routines around the house. I feel like I have to jot down my ideas for the blog, otherwise I'll forget what I wanted to write about. And it wouldn't be a surprise if I would forget or lost the post it with my notes. Lately, I feel like my mind went for a walk and forgot to come back.

Confessions

So, I just had a little reality check. I named my blog Confessions of Mrs.V but I never confess anything. So here it goes:

1. I am tired. I returned to work 3.5 months ago and I don't know how longer I can keep up with my schedule.
2. #1 leads me to this. I need a vacation. But if we go somewhere with Miss A. then it wouldn't be really a vacation. And I would probably get even more tired by organizing, planning, packing, and unpacking. Plus, going on a vacation with the breastpump, bottles and drying rack.....I don't think so!
3. Sometimes I feel like a single parent. Mr. V comes home, eats diner, and sits on the couch, while I have to take care of Miss A, wash bottles for next day, prepare lunches and so on. Don't I get a break too? I wish I could come home and just chill on the couch. Why don't I have that option?
4. I don't like my body. I know it could be worse but I really want my skinny, flat stomach, cute arse body back. I've lost almost all of the pregnancy wait, still have about 5 pounds (maybe less since breastmilk also counts as addition to my pounds). But, and this is a big but, my body doesn't nearly look the same. My stomach is all jingly and even if I can fit into my old pants/jeans, I have a freaking muffin top that doesn't let me wear any of my tops.
5. I'd like to work part time. I wish I could spend more time with Miss A. and enjoy this stage in our life. And in reality I probably could. I think we would make it financially, but I wouldn't be able to do my job part time and I can't work from home. Right now is not even a right time to look for another job that could meet my needs and wants. So, I am stuck. There are days when I catch myself thinking "I'll just pack my stuff, turn off the computer and wave buh-bye to my boss".
6. I need more time for myself. I am still a girl after all who wants to get her hair and nails done on a regular basis. But every time I try to do somehting for myself I feel guilty. I feel like I am a bad mother who'd rather go to a salon on the weekend then spend time with my baby girl.
7. I need more sleep! Lately, I've been sleeping about 4-5.5 hours at night with interruptions. I've become forgetful and unfocused.

That is it for now. I am sure I'll think of more stuff.

What's for Diner?

Miss A has been trying new things every few days for the past 2 weeks. She hasn't tried that many veggies/fruits but I already can say that she is just like me. When I was little my parents struggled with feeding times. As for Miss A, here is what she tried and her reaction:
1. Rice cereal - tried for the first time at 5.5 months (May 1). She loved the idea of eating out of a spoon, but she wasn't fond of a cereal. We tried with a few spoons thinking she just has to get used to it. The next few weeks up until now, she eats about 5 baby spoons and then starts turning her head whenever she sees me bringing the spoon to her mouth. Oh, and she also locks her lips, so nothing will get into her mouth. I laugh everytime she does it!
2. Apple - again tried a little bit and is not a big fan.
3. Bread - now she doesn't really it but we give her the hard part and munches on it and I think it is helping her with teathing. She loves bread!!! If she sees me taking out the bread, she starts making sounds and shaking a little bit, and also tries to reach it.
4. Avocado - tried a few days ago and didn't really like it.
5. Sweet potato - my Mom cooked her the sweet potato on Sunday. Again, tried few spoons and would lock her mouth.

She gets excited when she sees her bottle. But I keep telling her that she can't be eating breastmilk/formula until retirement. We'll keep on trying with new veggies/fruits, hopefully we'll find something she'll like.

Say What?

My baby girl and I spend last Saturday together. Mr. V had to take care of the condo and visit his parents/brother. We played, sang, did tummy time, read stories and ate before we got out of the house. As Miss A was consuming her "delicious" rice cereal (more of the cereal ends up on her face rather then in her mouth)she said "Ma". I didn't believe my ears but my initial reaction was to answer "Yes, baby". Haha... You would think that my reaction would be "OMG, she just said Ma!". But no, it took me a few minutes and then I was clapping and hugging Miss A for saying Ma. Even though nobody else was home to hear her say it, I was and still am convinced that she didn't just babble it but really, truly meant it!
Thank you baby girl for a wonderful Saturday!

Want to know what I think?

Well, since Mommy is not writing her thoughts in this blog, maybe she can jot down some of mine.
The last 4.5 months have been just crazy. First, I was pushed out from my cozy little "room" to a room full of super bright lights and weird faces, who were all up in my business. The woman in a white rob put me down on the chest that seemed familiar. I recognized the heart beating, the smell and the voice of a woman who was holding me (mommy). I also recognized the dude's voice who was standing next to her just starring at me without blinking (daddy). Then I finally got a bath. I wasn't too dirty or anything but I still couldn't meet all the folks that wanted to see me without a bath.

I think Mommy blogged about my entrance to this world, so I'll skip to the a later chapter in my life. Mommy and I spent 2.5 months at home together. The first month was the hardest for both of us. I mean, both of us were not getting enough sleep because I was hungry every few hours. I wasn't picky about food just as long as I get my share. (I remember some docs at the hospital saying babies don't need any food for the first couple of days, really? I bet you would be screaming at the top of your lungs if you didn't get any food). I wasn't picky how the food got to my mouth either - mommy, bottle, or little cup. At first, mommy and I had our misunderstandings. She didn't always know what I wanted and I couldn't really explain it to her. We started playing a little game. I would cry and mommy would guess what I needed/wanted - diaper change, food, warm blanket on my tummy.
A few more months passed and now we totally get each other. We are BFFs. We play together, laugh, read/eat books, cook, eat, and dance around the house. Oh, and we also like talk like 24/7 (totally exaggerating, we talk when I am not sleeping).

I do like Mommy but I think I am Daddy's girl. I love it when he comes home from where ever he spends his day. I put on the biggest smile just for him! I know he liked it. He smiles back and wants to hold me immediately. It's definitely L.O.V.E. Daddy loves to play. He can spend hours playing with me as long as I turn off the volume on my toys after 10 minutes. He really doesn't like listening to the same melody for a long time. But I get it, who does, I get annoyed too! Daddy and I also get to sleep in together most mornings. I just love waking up next to daddy in a big comfortable bed.

There are also grandparents. I see my granny everyday. She is entertaining me while my parents are at work. Grandpa comes everyday too to pick up granny. He is hilarious. He makes weird sounds at me and thinks I really like the baby talk.

And let's move on to the latest chapter of my life. I can now roll to my stomach (started at 4 months) but how do I get back??? I haven't figured it out yet. Mommy finally recorded my moves on camera. I was teasing her for 2 weeks and only rolling once per day when she wasn't around. I love my toys - the cube, pink hippo, lion, and Sophie is really tasty too. I also love the jumper that my parents borrowed from my cousin. My auntie and uncle said he didn't like too much when he was my age. Really? Not liking it? I love it. It is my favorite place in the house. Boys are just weird!

This is all I can think of now. But I think I am better at this whole blogging thing than Mommy. Hehe... :)

Miss A