Random Updates

Hi there! Remember me! Yes, it is been quite a while since I wrote anything. I am kind of regretting it now. Just to think how many months have passed and how many memories not captured in writing.

 

Well, technically they are captured in my heart and mind, although the sleep deprivation doesn’t let me remember all the details anymore J

 

What’s been happening? Let’s talk about the girls first.

Miss A is doing so much better at her school. Her teachers mentioned that she now loves to speak up and feels more comfortable in the environment around her. She made friends, she answers questions, she raises her hand, she is being herself and that is like music to my ears. She passed her K assessment a few months back and we got to the principal about her accomplishments and a few areas of improvement. Our little baby is on the way to Kindergarten. How is it possible?

 

Miss A is also taking Russian lessons with a 1^st graders at her school. She is also doing good. Can you believe she now reads and writes in Russian? Like full blown sentences and stuff… Amazeballs…Makes this mama soooo proud! I think she thrives in the environment and tries her hardest to be like older kids and not even one step behind them. She even got an award for making the most progress in her Russian class throughout the year.

 

We are still doing gymnastics once a week and making progress there too – hand stands, forward and backwards rolls, cartwheels, balance beams. Her sister and I watch or at least I try to watch while keeping an eye and entertaining the little one.

 

 

Little Miss A is now 20 months. Stop, just stop growing so fast… She is still a mama’s girl. If she cries at night and Mr. V comes to soothe her, she’ll cry even harder until I come. She opens one eye slowly to make sure I came into the room. I am not going to lie I love that she wants and needs me but sometimes taking showers before going to bed is tricky and fast J

 

Little one still loves the boob. I was going to stop a few months back and felt sad that we were at that point but she is not ready to give it up. Now that she is older I feel like it would be a good point to take the boob away but I am sure it’ll be a process. She mainly wants it before she goes to bed and before nap times. Kind of dreading the moment of teaching her to self soothe…

 

Little Miss A is following everything her sister does. The little monkey wants to do, take, repeat, anything and everything after her big sister. I am just glad Miss A is OK with sharing her toys and most of the time gladly gives the toys to her baby sister.

 

The little one currently has two favorite cartoons. She loves to watch Kolobok (kokoko) and Bremenskie Muzikanit (e-ee-ee). She is not too keen on the cartoons her sister watches and is done watching them after one minute. She loves all kind of songs and starts dancing when she hears the music/beat.

 

Both girls love to play but it is kind of hard for them to play together. We play hide and seek at home. They pull out the nap mat and pretend they are sleeping. They put on tutu skirts and dance around the living room. They put the play tent together, grab some toys, sit inside and play. Little one loves pushing the stroller around the house. Nobody else better mess or take it away from her. That is her absolute favorite thing right now. They eat together and if one got something special (rice crackers, toast, chips) then we better make sure the other ones gets it too.

 

It is hard to study and do homework with the older one nowadays. She gets easily interrupted and can’t concentrate on doing her exercises when her little sister wants to take the pencil, paper (anything else she can get her hands one) away from her. I notice I have to repeat myself 10 million times to get her attention. It is also hard to make time and teach the little one, since there is not enough time for all. I try to read the assignment with Miss A and let her do the exercise while I read, show, teach the little one new tricks. It is just so much easier to let them play and do nothing in the evening, but that won’t get them far, will it? I’ve noticed it helps to let miss A know the plan for the evening, that way she know what is coming and expected from her.

 

There are days when we play, dance, laugh, blow bubbles, and just be silly. Every kid needs some time to relax and let go!

 

I hope I can be one of the cool moms who let the kids be kids but can also balance out the homework. I hope I can be a great example to the girls. I hope I can be patience with them and vice versa. I hope I won’t raise my voice (much). I hope I can take them to cool places on weekends and forget about the house chores. I hope I can be fun and they would want to spend time with me. I hope I can… so many million things

 

Love my girls to the moon and back and I hope they know it!

Daycare & School

Our older daughter is growing up way to fast. I realized she would need to start school sooner or later. This is kind of inevitable but the moment came too soon.

The last day of daycare was on 8/19 and she started a new school on 8/20. It’s been a bitter sweet moment for her and for me. The days prior to the big day I kept worrying and couldn’t sleep well.

My baby girl spent three years at the daycare where everyone and everything was so familiar to her. She was showered with attention. She was surrounded by loving people. She met her best friend there. She knew the daily routine, the games, the songs, the dances. She was one of the older and mature kids in daycare and was setting a good example to the little ones that just started.

The day before the official school date, we took Ariela to the school for the morning assembly (K and above started a day earlier). It was a gloomy morning with an on/off drizzle. Everything around us was new – kids, parents, teachers, buildings, papers. We watched as the older kids assembled and listened to the principal’s speech. My daughter was always next to us looking around her and taking everything in. She asked a lot of questions because she simply didn’t understand the language and what is happening.

My mind kept me up for a long time the night before school. How will she transition? Will she understand? Will she make friends? Will she be able to open her lunch? Will she eat? Will she use a restroom? Is she going to cry? Will she miss her daycare and friends? Man, oh man…I could go on with all sort of questions running through my mind.

The next day, I drove her to her first day of pre-K and spent 20 minutes with her in the class (no, no, I wasn’t the only parent there). We found her little locker with her name on it and put her stuff in it. We’ve walked around the rooms and finally sat down at the table to play with a sand. I didn’t care that I was late for work. Even without her saying anything I knew she needed me there. Those minutes I spent in her new classroom were important to both of us. I want to believe I made it a little easier for her to be left alone in a new environment and new faces.

As for Mr. V, he left the diaper bag in my car (by accident) and only realized it when he was close to the nanny’s house. So, he turned around and came to the new school where he and the baby sister could also be part of Ariela’s big day. Later, he said he was glad he had to turn around and see our big girl at her new school. I totally know what he means. Moments like these are priceless!

Look What I Can Do

Well, well, well…. The little baby is not so little anymore.

Miss Alina also likes to “walk” when I hold both of her arms. She started doing right around 9 months. I totally thought she’ll skip the crawling stage like her sister but she proved me wrong (see below).
A month later, she still likes to “walk” all around the house, entering all the rooms (Ha! like we have that many) and looking for her sister/daddy/Mickey. All this is accompanied by loud sounds like “Ah, Ah”.

 

Miss Alina is crawling as of  8/2o, not just an army crawl but crawling on all fours. She is not fast just yet but she is definitely on the right track.

Her eyes light up and she is “talking” every time she moves her arms and legs. And then she grins from ear to ear once she reaches her destination. Cutest thing ever.

I can’t stop taking pictures and videos of this stage (which reminds me to transfer all the files to the computer, my phone doesn’t have any more memory). This is a new stage for all of us since Ariela never really crawled.

Alina can also get up when she is holding on to something. She bends her one leg up, holds on to something she can reach with all of her might, pushes herself up and puts her second leg down, grins, and starts talking. What an accomplishment, baby girl!

The little lady still puts everything in her mouse. All the toys and objects around her need to be tested by her first. This has been an ongoing stage since she’s been able to hold objects in her hands. Note she doesn’t like the chewing toys we got at home. Oh, no! She loves just regular toys, spoons, spatulas, bags, crayons, mouse pad & computer mouse, books, and other random stuff she can find around the house. We have to keep an eye on her all the time.

The little one is always on the move lately. I get it. It is the new stage in life. She loves being more independent and accomplishing things she couldn’t before. She can’t sit still in one place for a few minutes even if we surround her with her favorite toys like piano and other musical instruments.

 

Sometimes I feel like I am too old for this J or maybe I am just tired after work. Sometimes I feel like I can’t do any activates and teach Ariela anything new when I constantly have to “walk” or keep an eye on Alina. Sometimes this whole business of having 2 kids gets tough. But every day I look at my two beautiful girls and realize how lucky and blessed we are.

 

 

 

Sister, Sister

Since the moment we found out we are having another girl I’ve always pictured them to be best friends. In my mind they would always hold hands, play together, care for each other, and wouldn’t need anyone else. Well, maybe that will happen in the future but it certainly hasn’t been like that for the last 8 months.

 

Ariela is used to attention, an undivided attention. During my pregnancy I kept talking to her about how she’ll be a big sister and how much fun it’ll be to have a little one around the house. I kept pointing out how she’ll be able to help care for her little sister and be mommy’s right hand. And every time we talked Ariela kept changing the subject, like she didn’t want anything to do with any of it. I say she is one smart cookie because at that point she already figured out that parents won’t always be there for her and she’ll need to share her parents with a baby.

 

When she first came to the hospital to meet her sister, I think she was more excited to see me and not the baby. The grandparents  led her to a crib to see her brand new sister and she kind of had the look like she didn’t know what to think. She opened her mouth and smiled and that was it! And I think that smile was more for a show rather than her being in awe with the baby. She turned around and came to talk to me.

 

The first few months she made a few attempts to feed the baby, looked how we changed the diaper, covered her with a blanket, and that was about it. She wasn’t into her little sister and it seemed to me like she wanted her life as a family of three back.

 

When Alina was about 3-4 months Ariela wanted to be around her little sister more. It also helped that Alina’s first smile was just for Ariela. The big sis was very proud that the baby smiled just for her. She kept talking about it for quite some time.

 

A few more months passed and Ariela wanted to “play” now. She kept making faces and loud noises; anything to make Alina smile and laugh. Alina didn’t need any encouragement. She loved “chasing” after Ariela around the house, wiggling her little feet and arms, and squeaking with excitement, craving for more play time.

 

Now, when Alina is 9 monhts, they still like to “chase” and “hide” from each other. Most of the time Ariela will help with putting a blanket on the floor for Alina to sit on. She’ll bring toys for her little sis but sometimes takes them away after a few seconds. I have to remind her to give at least one to Alina, otherwise, she won’t have any fun playing. Ariela will help to watch the baby if I have to step away to the kitchen or fill up the bath. She’ll also help with feeding while singing cute little songs to make Alina eat more.

There was a one time accident when I thought I would burst.

I left to check on something in the kitchen and on my way back saw Ariela trying to pick up the baby who was lying on the blanket on the floor. She didn’t see me at first but once she turned her head and saw me, she let go off Alina. Miss Alina fell on her back. All I can say is I am lucky we had a very soft blanket underneath her. I am also thankful Alina wasn’t too far from the ground, otherwise, that fall would’ve been very painful for her. I was fuming. Ariela was afraid for a few seconds and just stared at me. You know the stare where the kid knows he/she did something wrong but didn’t know how the adult will react? That one… Without thinking, I raised my voice at her and she started to cry. I picked up Alina and went to another room to breathe.

 

There are of course daily reminders for Ariela and I feel like I constantly remind her not to do certain things like waving her fingers right in front of Alina’s face/eyes, not yell/breath into her face (give a girl some space), don’t give her food she can’t eat just yet, don’t pick her up, etc.

Even though their relationship was pretty much non-existent in the beginning, it is been wonderful to see it grow over the last few months. I love watching Alina grin when she sees her sister. I love seeing Ariela teach Alina how to play with toys. I love them as individuals. I love them as sisters. I am so thankful to have them both in my life!

 

My Maternity Leave

I’ve stayed home a total of 5 months. Twice as long as I’ve stayed with Ariela. Somehow the time just passed me by in the blink of an eye and ready or not I had to go back to work.

 

I’ve already talked about the first and easy month. Each consecutive month brought its challenges and moments of pure happiness.

 

Miss Alina was never a cry baby if you went by her rules. She did have a few crying episodes where I was just clueless what to do with her. I offered the boob, changed the diaper, rocked her, held her on my tummy, gave gas drops, and nothing worked.

But I can count those episode on one hand. She’s been a relatively easy child. The only thing she wanted was….drum roll……ME. I’ve heard of the witching hour and how parents are ready to pull their hair out during those times. Now that I think about it we sort of went through witching hour but in a more down to earth way. Miss Alina wanted to be held and especially during the hours of 6pm-8pm, right when miss Ariela would come home from daycare. I found it a bit difficult to heat up dinner, do homework, play, and bath the older one when the little one is glued to me. Alina would start to cry 5 minutes after I would put her down in her crib. My parents would pick up Ariela from daycare and spent a little time at our house to help. Not sure how other moms do the whole drop off/pick up with newborns. We didn’t care about the drop off and Ariela would roll into daycare around 10-10:30 daily but the kid had to be picked up by 6pm and it would usually be right around Alina’s feeding time.

 

Anyways, moving on… Most of the days I had time to cook dinner, feed myself, pump, and on special days I would even have time for a shower. I’ll be honest, I did spoil Alina by holding her a little more than needed during the day but it was my time to explore her tiny face features, hold her little fingers, and just stare at the miracle we created. I also watched a lot of TV when Alina would sleep. I would pour myself some Mother’s Milk tea, get oatmeal cookies, and turn the little demon on. I watched a lot of talk shows and Sex and the City episodes, and some really bad reality TV that I never watch. I felt guilty at times and felt like I was wasting time but it was also my down time to chill out and unwind.

 

When it warmed up a little, miss Alina and I would get out of the house for a few hours. We would go to Trader Joes and/or walk around the lake with a friend of mine. It was good for both of us. I am really glad I had a friend who wasn’t working at that time to join me for longs walks and keep me company.

 

November, December, and January just flew by. I was in such denial that I had to go back to work eventually. I kind of liked staying at home with my little babe and the thought of leaving her gave me the creeps. But I kind of had to be an adult and had to start thinking rationally at one point. This time my mom was employed and it was not an option to have her babysit miss Alina. One of the options was to have my brother’s nanny watch her and we pretty much never even thought of another babysitter. After all, she raised his older daughter and now was looking after his little boy. If they liked her than we will most likely like her too. Plus, Ariela stayed with here for a few days last year when her daycare was closed. She was somewhat familiar……but what did I know….all of those things were not enough for this emotional and attached mama.

 

More to come…

First Month as a Family of Four

We got home on a Friday afternoon while the older Miss A was at daycare. The little one slept and I got to unpack all of the junk from the hospital.

 

I was more relaxed and not as stressed as I was the first time around.

 

I kind of knew what to do with the baby.

 

I told myself that things like laundry, dirty floors, dust, and other random stuff can wait.

 

I kept reminding myself to slow down and not get too stressed out. I can’t control everything.

 

I can’t control everything.

 

My house can and will be messy and it is totally OK.

 

My kids need their happy mama not the clean house.

 

These were some of the things I had to constantly remind myself of. This time around I wanted to be smarter and kick my old self in the butt for stressing out about all the little things that don’t matter in life. Man, I remember the first time around feeling like a bomb that could go off at anytime if things didn’t go according to my plan. Now though, what plan? I don’t have any plans and I am not making any plans and to do lists. I’ll go with a flow as they say.

 

The first month was somewhat easy with a new baby at home. Alina mostly slept, ate, peed, and pooped like any other newborn. Ariela went to daycare and kept to her routine although mommy wasn’t there to put her to sleep most of the nights. She did get a bit jealous at times and wanted me to help her with random stuff. After all, I’ve been around before to help her with pretty much anything and everything she needed. Mr. V had to step up and help more.

 

Mr.V took a week off as paternity leave. Well, he ended up working the entire time he’s been home. He logged in once and answered one email and all broke loose. People just thought he is working from home or something and his out-of-the office reply didn’t help. WTF is wrong with people? Paternity leave to me means the dad is staying home and helps around the house and with the baby, while the mom recovers. In our house, it was a complete opposite. I had to do everything myself including preparing 3 meals a day for Mr.V while he worked. Honestly, I would feel better if he went to work and just let me be.

 

Now, let’s talk about me. I was hormonal. I was fat. I was a bit depressed. I was lost. I was emotional. The life that we all new changed for all of us. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I loved my tiny baby with all of my heart but just like with Ariela, those feelings became stronger with each passing day. My feelings and rational changed too. I was staring at my little, clueless, dependent newborn while at the same time dealing with a jealous, always-speaks-what-is-on-her mind, attention needed kid. This topic deserves a post on its own.

 

My head and my emotions became my worst enemy. I kept doubting myself and was afraid of the new territory we all entered. Will I love both of them? Will I have a favorite? Will I still have time to spend with Ariela? Can I be a good mom to both of them? Will Ariela accept  the new baby? How do we adjust to a new life we brought home? When can I fit into my jeans? Why do I torture myself with these kind of questions? Will I feel lonely when  I’ll be home with the baby by myself?

 

We survived. We had food and clean clothes. My house was clean. I had time to shower (hallelujah) and there were even moments of free time (and I honestly didn’t know what to do with myself during those times).

Hospital Stay

 

The nurses took the baby girl to clean, measure, and give her the shots while my doctor took care of me. I felt no pain at that moment since the epidural didn’t wear off yet.

I looked around the room and just took everything in. One nurse came to talk to me and the other was cleaning the baby girl. She told me I did so good and it was a very fast delivery. She talked about her three kids and how when she was delivering her kids they didn’t administer epidural and she had to give birth a natural. After being in pain for a few hours I really don’t know how she did it, nevertheless three times.

 

After everything and everyone calmed down in the room, I realized what just happened. The extra nurses at delivery, the nurse sitting at my bed for hours, the doc checking in a few times….My baby girl had the cord wrapped around her neck and they had to have extra people just in case…Don’t even want to think about just in case scenarios…All I saw was the monitor which showed her heart rated dropped significantly with every contractions. The husband later on told me the doc had to cut off the cord right away, hence the blood on the floor, hospital gowns, nurses’ scrubs. I had mixed feelings about inducement but at that point I realized we made the right decision. Who knows what could’ve happened if we waited…..

 

My parents and in-laws came to the hospital and saw the baby pretty much right away. A lot of convos were about how the two sisters looked alike. The baby girl slept through it all swaddled in a blanket like a little burrito.

 

Baby girl and I moved to the postpartum room and lived there for the next two and a half days. This time the baby stayed with me all the time. I decided not to send her to the nursery. One night I accompanied my new baby to the nursery for some tests and check-up and realized I made the right choice yet again. The three nurses that were there were busy doing their own tasks while a few babies were screaming and needed comfort/food. I gladly took my baby back to our room.

 

My mom stayed with me for two nights and helped with the baby while Mr. V took care of the big girl at home. It was the first time I was away from the big girl. I was worried but she did just fine. The big sis got meet the baby the same day after coming to the hospital from daycare. She ran to hug me first and started babbling about random stuff until we finally asked her to meet the baby. Honestly, I think she was way more excited to see me than the baby. It is like she already knew that she’ll have to share mommy and daddy with the little one.

 

This time the hospital stay was calm and uneventful. No one bothered us, no one came in the middle of the night multiple times to check on me and baby, no one carried. In fact, I had to call a few times and remind the nurses to bring me my pain killers. Apparently, they were going through some system changes and were doing training at work, letting the patients just be.

 

Baby girl was pretty calm. She slept a lot and cried a little. I was preparing myself for non-stop crying for some reason, maybe because the older kid was crying every hour.

 

Baby girl didn’t have the name until the last moment. Mr. V and I couldn’t decide on a first name, nevertheless thinking about the middle name. I got a few phone calls from the birth certificate department asking us if we have a name. Finally, on the last day, before checking out from the hospital, Mr. V came with a  car seat, we just looked at each other and agreed on a name. The lady called again and I was finally able to give her the name of our brand new baby girl.


Drum roll please……

 

Miss Alina (yes, another Miss A) was dressed and ready to go home.

Birth Story

We got to the hospital around 8:20 pm and went to the L&D to register. I was in total denial. Mr. V kept taking pictures of me. I was not impressed. Wet hair, big belly, fat all around is not a good combo for pictures if you ask me.

 

After a pee test and some blood work, the doc checked me and I was at 1cm. I remember thinking to myself that I might just go to labor naturally without being induced. I was hoping it would be the case but it didn’t work out that way.

 

We waited until our room was prepped for us. We called our parents and checked in on Miss A. I changed and sat on the hospital bed as the nurse came in and told us the plan. My doc wanted to start the inducement process right away.

The plan was to help me to get dilated to 4cm overnight. They would insert a “balloon” and leave it there overnight to move things along. And so they did. That is when things got real! I snapped out of my dream state and realized we were having a baby the next day.

 

The balloon wasn’t painful but it was pretty uncomfortable. The nurses went in and out the whole night. I was able to get a few hours of sleep in between the check-ups. The nurses changed shifts, the hours went by, the pain increased, the IV went in, some pain medicine was giving, which didn’t really help.

By morning, I was at 3-4 cm. I remember thinking that it’ll be a very long day if my overnight progress was so little. My contractions were so strong I couldn’t tolerate them anymore. Every time a contraction started, I held on to the bed as tightly as I could and looked at the monitor by my side. I remember trying to distract myself from pain by looking around the room and concentration on something. I remember looking at my Kindle and seeing some random book name pop up. I remember looking at the clock thinking our little one would be born soon. I remember I gritted my teeth. I remember almost falling off the bed with each contraction. I remember Mr. V laying in the room and asking me how I was. I remember a nurse coming in and out. Apparently their system was down and she couldn’t see my monitor numbers from outside. She sat by my side for the next few hours talking to me about her life with two crazy toddlers. She sat by my side looking at the monitor – some numbers would get up and some down.

 

I asked for an epidural after about 2 hours of being in pain. I had to wait for an anesthesiologist for about 20-30 minutes. Those were the longest minutes ever. When the anesthesiologist (same guy as 4 years ago) came in, I knew exactly what to do and was ready for a magical drug. What a difference it makes. I finally got some rest and stayed on the right side of the bed.

 

The nurse continued to sit by side. She talked a lot and reminded me of my Italian friend. She had a great sense of humor. I was finally able to laugh at her jokes and concentrate on what she was saying. I know now that she was by my side because my little girl had the cord around her neck. Her heart rate would drop significantly with every contraction. I kind of guessed it by looking at the monitor but didn’t realize how important it was to have someone there in case something would happen. I am so grateful she was there! I am glad she took care of the whole situation without letting me know and stressing me out even more.

 

My doc finally made an appearance and I was close to 8cm. After another hour, I was ready to push. We made a few practice pushes and apparently I was a pro already. I didn’t feel anything but they called me a champ. That is the way I like it – No Pain!

 

The doctor came along with another nurse. Again, they didn’t tell me why but I guess they had to be ready just in case. I started pushing and at exactly 2:00pm my little baby was born. Mr. V confirmed she had a tight cord around her neck which the doctor cut right away. I, of course, saw nothing. I guess it is better that way. Baby Alina weighed 7lb 8oz and was 21 inch long (at the hospital, and then 19.5 inch at her first doc’s appointment, I guess someone messed up).

 

I got to hold the baby right away. What a feeling…it is definitely one of those awww moments. I looked at her and knew she is mine. I knew how to take care of her. I knew her cues. I stared at her for a long time and took in all of her features.

We tried BFing and it was OK. I wanted to give it a try and see where it would take us without having any expectations. She wrapped her tiny little fingers around one of mine and took my breath away.

 

Hospital stay to be continued…..

Due Date (10/21/13)

The due date came and the little one was still an inside baby. I always thought the second baby would be a few weeks or at least one week born before the due date. But babies have plans of their own.




I finished work on 10/15. The day before I planned to work from home. I dressed miss A and drove her to daycare only to find out it was closed :) I had to change my plans to make sure I could take care of miss A and finish my work related tasks. I worked half of the day while miss A colored, danced, watched TV, and tried to stay quite. The rest of the day we had fun and enjoyed being outside.




On my actual due date Mr. V and I went to my last doctor's appointment. I remember my doctor said "Ah, you've brought reinforcement. Time to make the plan". She still thought the baby was pretty big and that I had too much fluid. She mentioned that it would be a good idea to move on to inducement sooner rather than wait till the baby would make the appearance on her own. We talked about the possible dates and it was up to us to decide the date of the inducement.


Mr. V and I stepped out of the hospital and he kept telling me how we should do the inducement in the next few days. For some reason, I wanted to wait until she would come out on her own. I was all for waiting and going into labor naturally.




We agreed to at least call the hospital and get on the waiting list for the inducement. What do you know, the next day (Tuesday) I drove miss A to her school and was waiting for here there when Mr. V called and said we got a call from the hospital. He told me to hurry back home because the hospital could admit us that evening. I thought he was joking. It took me about 10 minutes to realize it was the truth. Miss A and I drove home and my parents were already there. I finished packing my bag, took a shower, kissed Miss A, and off we went.




To Be Continued...

Our Life Lately

Hello there, my blog. I’ve totally forgotten and abandoned about you. Good thing no one is really following it, otherwise at this speed I would have no readers at all.

There is a reason though why I’ve neglected you for so long. Life has been busy and by busy I am super, duper busy.

 

Let’s talk about my two girls J

Miss A – where do I start?

-          You are such a loving and caring young lady

-          You hold conversations like an older woman (or babushka as people in daycare call you)

-          You always ask where and what are we doing on the weekend

-          Lately, you’ve been asking about your birthday. You tell me who you want to invite, what cake to get and what food to order. So far, you liked Pump it Up (we’ve been there for another bday party) and you want to invite all of your girlfriends from daycare. You want to have a huge pink and purple cake with butterflies and rainbow. And apparently, the cake will not be enough since you asked me t get “pupcakes” (cupcakes) as well.

-          You’ve also asked when your sister will be born and why you cousin already has a baby brother and you don’t.

-          You love to dance!!! When we get home from daycare you usually change into a puffy dress or skirt and ask us to put some music on. Cutest thing ever! If we have someone over, then you’ll change outfits every 5 minutes to make sure people don’t leave without seeing your collection of dresses, tutus, and skirts.

-          You are still taking gymnastics classes and we recently enrolled you in a prep class for Kindergarten. They’ll be teaching Russian, Math, and English. The class will start in a few weeks and I’ll need to write an update on that.

-          I think most of the time you are a follower with your friends at daycare. There is an older girl, who is leaving this year, but she is very dominant and tells everyone what to do. And you and other little girl just follow what she says. I’ve noticed when she is not around, you are more of a leader and others try to follow you.

-          You performed at the “daycare graduation” for five kids that will be leaving to school this year. Only those kids should’ve been performing (singing and dancing) but you memorized all the songs and the teachers asked you to perform as well. Some parents were asking if/where A will go this year and I just replied she is staying for another year. She just likes to perform!

-          We try to go “swimming” to gma’s and gpa’s pool frequently. You are doing great with your puddle jumper but still afraid of water, especially if it gets into your eyes or on your face.

You are our sunshine and such a light in our life! You make us smile everyday but sometimes test our patience J You tell us you love us and give out kisses to us every day. What a great feeling and joy it is to be around you every day. I am very thankful to have you in my life.

I love you with all my heart and more!

 

Little One – we haven’t come up with a name yet. I’ll have to call you little one for now

-          You’ve been doing gymnastics or some other sport in there. I’ve been feeling all those rolls and turns you take

-          Daddy is finally used to the idea that he’ll have two daughters. Trust me he was shocked when he found out at the u/s that you are a GIRL but now he is totally cool.

-          Mommy is really excited to have two daughters. I hope you’ll have a special bond between the two of you. I hope you’ll be there for each other though out life and learn to lean and care for each other. I won’t lie; at first I thought we’ll have a boy. On the day of the big u/s I left confused at first. I got a little sad that I’ll never know or have a boy to raise but then I thought of all the positives of having two girls and the world became brighter! Like this was meant to be!

-          We went for another u/s on 08/16 because I’ve been having some pain on my upper right side and the doc wanted me to check it out. I am so glad we did. Your daddy was able to go with me. They couldn’t tell why I’ve been having pain (maybe your position and kicking or my ribs expanding to make room for you) but I was able to stare at you for 20 minutes. You were folded in half J Your legs were covering you face most of the time and the u/s tech was having a hard time. We got a few pictures to take home and your sister wanted to see them as well. They estimated you to be around 3lb 14oz, which is the 60 percentile. I’ve heard their estimates are not really accurate though.

-          I am feeling better in general, just get more tired towards the evening and the shortness of breath is really annoying

-          Yesterday, your sister felt you kick for the first time (she was just pretending before) and she started giggling J

 

It seems like time just flies by this time around but at the same time we still have about 2 more months. I can’t wait to meet you. I pray every day that you are healthy and that my body is doing everything to help you grow. I try to ignore the hard days with sickness, fatigue, shortness of breath, because at the end it won’t matter. The only thing matter to me is that you are healthy in there.

 

I love you with all of my expending heart, actually we are all already in love with you.

 

 

 

Too Many Updates

I realize it's been again a few months since my last blog entry. Where should I start???

February - found out we were expecting #2. Cautious, excited, scared. First appointment with the same doctor. First u/s to see the baby and hear the heart!

March - told our families. I started feeling nauseous. I would get sick during night, morning, but thankfully not at work. One time I had to stop the car and pull out a bag, that is how bad it was.
I gained way too many pounds since only the carbs made me fill good and full. I was starving every hour.

April - Went on a vacation to Mexico again but this time with different families. It was amazing! Miss A had a great time with her cousins. They swam, played, watched cartoons together. They went on stage to participate during the kid's program and danced every evening during the shows.
I wasn't really into going at first. After all, Mexico and pregnancy don't usually go together but I am glad we went. It was nice to get away, relax, and chill with my family.

May - I've started feeling a bit better and slowly started eating more healthier food. Salads started to look appealing to me (but only with butter lettuce). On May 31st we found out we were having another GIRL. I was shocked and thrilled. Mr. V was just shocked :) I'll write another post on this
Miss A had her performance at the Sunday school and did so great again. This little girl just like performing and being "on stage". She is officially on summer vacation but still attends daycare and gymnastics. We've started looking at school options. So far, we've had one tour and scheduled a few more for the end of summer/fall.

June - Feeling better yet again but gained way too many pounds. Every time the nurse weights me my eyes are about to pop. I swear there is something wrong with their weights. (I am in such denial).
My nephew was born on June 22nd, three weeks early. He is so tiny. I forgot what to do with such tiny little babies.

Miracle!!!

Oh wow, I can't believe I haven't blogged for so long. I have a lot of catching up. The last 4 months have been eventful, scary, tiring, but exciting.

Cycle #4 was our lucky one!!! Yes, I am pregnant!!! I can finally shout, although there is no need since I am already showing a little bump. Back in February i started getting all of my regular PMS symptoms and got hopeless about seeing two pink lines on the test that cycle. I even told Mr. V that.
But being very inpatient and wishing for the best (plus having lots of those internet cheapies on hand), I peed on the test at 10 DPO (Fe. 7th), left it on the sink, and took my time in the shower. I kept opening the shower door and glancing at the test. It was like a de ja vu all over again. I noticed a very, very faint pink line. I picked up the test and started looking at it from all the angles. And just like the first time, I had to confirm with a digital. I went to the store in the morning, peed at two more tests at work, and saw a very pretty work Pregnant on it and a more vivid second pink line on the other. It happened in exactly the same order as with our miss A and I just couldnt' believe it.

Later in the evening, I pulled up the some onesie I used to tell Mr. V about our first child and wrote on the other side " Will you also be my Daddy?". He saw the onesie, smiled, and asked if it was for real. We hugged, kissed, and got distracted with our little girl.

I was in denial at first. After all, I tested so early. So, what does a girl do? I kept testing for a few more weeks and cheapies and random test I had left. It was surreal to go through the feelings and emotions again. I kept praying everyday to see those magical two lines get darker and darker with days.

As days turned into week, the first waves in nausea hit me and hadn't left me just yet. The first time i got sick around 6-7 weeks. This time I got sick even during the night. The feeling of being sick woke me up at night and I had to run to the bathroom. There were a few nights when I didn't even know what to do first - throw up or pee. Seriously, so not cool when you are holding your pee and every time I barfed I felt like I'll pee all over myself.

I am still feeling nauseous but now it is mostly in the morning when I brush my teeth or get ready for work. Now, I've been staying up till 11pm or 12am. This is huge comparing to previous weeks when I would fall asleep with miss A around 10pm.

We told the parents and families around 7-8 weeks and they all were very excited for us.

December Events

Let's continue with our events from last year.

School Performance - In the middle of December your Sunday school put together a little performance for the holiday. Let me just say, you shined and rocked the "stage". I was so proud of you. You weren't shy at all like you can be at first. You always had a great impression on your face and gesturing with your hands when you sang. Cutest thing ever. At one point, I was laughing so hard. You really looked like you enjoyed yourself on stage. One of the grandma's sitting next to me, asked if you were my kid and I said yes. Then she goes "I think you need to take her straight to Hollywood". I giggled but also thought the same thing.


Kid Gift Exchange - It is been a few years and sort of turned into a tradition by now. A group of our friends get together, have dinner, and then exchange gifts (just for the kids). This year, as the kids get older, it is more fun to see them socialize, play with each other, open and get excited about their gifts. Miss A was helping with getting the gifts under the tree and giving them to the kids.


New Year - We stayed at home to celebrate New Years. I think we actually stayed at home for the last few years. Mr. V's parents came over and my parents came over around midnight. They spent some time with my brother first at their house. Miss A decided to not go to sleep and stayed up till 12:05am. As we poured champagne into our glasses and began the countdown, miss A was counting with out. She got so excited that when midnight stroke and everyone was wishing each other Happy New Year, miss A totally didn't know what the hype was all about. She turned to me and asked "Mommy, where is the New Year". I explained that it is not something physical she can see or touch. She listened carefully, thought for a few seconds, and then said "Mom, I want to go to sleep". The next day she woke up and opened all of her gifts from Ded Moroz (Santa), parents, g-parents, and cousins.

Adding to Yesterday's Post

A few weeks ago I saw an ad on FB to enter a drawing for a cord blood banking. I did enter but totally forgot about it. At that point, I thought why not? We haven't done it with miss A maybe the second time around we would want to.

Fast forward to today... I am sitting at work and my phone rings. Rachael calls from Cord Blood banking to talk. I tell her it is not a good time. After all I have my boss sitting right next to me. Before she hangs up she says Congratulations! Ummm... I had to pause and think. What are you talking about lady? Do you know something I don't know?

It hit me only after I hung up. She thought the women who entered the drawing are already expecting, otherwise, what is the point of entering. I hope I wasn't the only woman who registered and not is not pregnant.

Anyways, after our short chat Rachael followed up with an email. Hey, Rachael, thanks for a laugh and hopefully you are right on time!

Somebody Slap Me Out of This Stage

Really. I think I need a big slap on my face or a bucket of cold water thrown at me.
This whole TTC process is exhausting my mind. I have to say I am OK most of the day and remain hopefull that the current cycle might be our lucky one. But (there is always a but) there are days when I feel down. There are days when I envy a little all of my girlfriends who are currently pregnant.
 

And I know it is stupid to be envious. I know, I really do! I mean one couple had to wait three years until they got a BFP. Another couple had to go the IVF route. And a few more couples just got knocked up on the first try. I also can’t help my mind to wonder and imagine what life will be like with two kids, how we’ll all need to adjust, how miss A will feel about us splitting our time between 2 kids.

Today is again one of the days when I feel sad. As the days, weeks, and months pass me by, I feel like I get more and more swallowed into the whole TTC process. I am starting to think of new strategies to use (OPK, monitor, temp, and so on) and forget to enjoy the whole process. So stupid but so true.

 

 Hopefully, this too will pass!

Circus Time (12/06/12)

It was a regular Sunday morning. After your Sunday school one of the moms talked about the circus happening that same day. Your dad and I look exchanged a questionable look and headed to the store to see if there are any tickets left. See how spontaneous we can be occasionally? :)

We got the tickets. The task at hand was to have you nap for a little while and then head out to make it on time for a 3pm performance. In all honesty though, who schedules performances during the day. I am pretty sure most of the kids have nap times at that time.

We struggled with nap time. You didn't want to sleep. We bargained with you/. We threatened
 you "if you won't sleep, then you won't go" but nothing seems to work. I became frustrated and thought the whole spontaneous ticket purchase was not a good idea after all.

It was time to get ready and leave the house. You got up from the bed and started jumping and screaming "yay, circus, yay".

 

Well, we finally made it and you loved it. You followed the animals and their tricks. You laughed at clowns and you clapped when it was time to clap. You were pointing your little fingers and saying "mama, see, sobaka (dog)". Overall, we all had a good time (if I forget of course the one hours of hectic negotiations with you).

P.S. After this, your daddy and I got tickets to a Disney on Ice performance. It'll be the first for the whole family as well but we have to patiently wait until February.

Our Three Year Old

Let's catch-up a little on what our little lady is up to:

1. I think the biggest accomplishment was that you were 100% potty trained a week before your third birthday. You just woke up that day and decided you didn't need diapers anymore to do #2 business. At that point you were already wearing big girl panties but still asked for diapers to do #2.

2. With you potty trained, I was finally able to breath a little. I think I mentioned earlier that you refused to poop for 3-4 days in a row. It would hurt after and you would ask for diaper and only then you would do your #2 business. The pediatrician wanted us to try medicine but I didn't want to get you hooked on some random medicine for 2-3 months. I was relieved when you started asking for #1 and #2.

3. Let's just finish with all this potty stuff, shall we? After talking last year to a few parents, I've heard stories how their kids woke them up in the middle of the night, every single night, and asked to go potty. I was sort of dreading that moment. We were finally getting a full night sleep and I just couldn't imagine waking up in the middle of the night again. Well, baby girl, I think you are an exception. You don't wake up at night to go potty. I thank you for that!

4. However, you do wake us up for a few minutes when you march into our room with your pillow in tow, climb our bed, and fall asleep. And this happens pretty much every single night. Sometimes, you forget to bring the pillow and either I or you daddy has to get up. Sometimes you bring more than just your pillow. Your little lady bug projector and your blanket sometimes end up in our room as well.

5. You still love your gymnastics class. You started the gymnastics class at a new school and you tell us you never want to go back to the old one. The new class is more advanced and I would say more challenging. Your teacher is Russian speaking lady who usually talks to you in Russian. Once you got comfortable with her, you tell her stories when we walk in the class and you always want to get her attention when you are doing gymnastics. "Lana, Lana, see chto ya delau" ( look what I can do).

6. You know the colors, the ABC in English and know almost all letters in Russian, and numbers you can say numbers in both languages up to 20.

7. You can write certain words, especially if I spell it out to you letter by letter. You love writing your name in both English and Russian on all your art projects.

8. You are very carrying towards your cousin Alyssa. You give her toys. You kiss her every time you get out of the grandpa's car. You always want her to come in and play with you. You treat her like a little doll.

9. You are my dancing queen, young and sweet only three year old. Baby girl, you just LOVE to dance and you are so good at it. Your body starts moving right when the music starts. You make your own moves and love when people watch you. Sometimes you say "vistupaet Ariela" (Ariela performing") and start dancing and singing.

10. You like singing just as much. You amaze me at how many songs you know already. I have to give credit to your daddy. Every morning he turns on the music in the car when he drives you to daycare.

11. You are still attending the Russian Sunday school and you already feel comfortable with Nellya (Russian language teacher) and you have yet to like Larissa (the music teacher). You are learning songs, dance, and New Year's rhymes for an upcoming holiday performance.

12. You are so grown-up for your age. You continue to amaze me with your language skills. Your sentences are structured and include complex words/phrases. Faina, the daycare owner, tells us how you don't like to waste your words and usually express yourself like a grown-up person.

13. I've noticed you are a bit shy at first around new people but once you feel comfortable you'll want to show them your room, toys, dance moves, art projects, books, and so on.

14. You like playing with dolls now. You pretend they are your little babies. Your feed them, cover them with a blanket, soothe them, and rock them to sleep. Sometimes, I play with you in your room. You like trading places with me. I get into your bed and pretend I am you. You pretend you are me and start playing like it is my time to go to bed. You use my words and phrases (pora spat', zakrivai glazki, bistren'ko spat'). I always have a laugh when I hear you talk like me.

15. You are finally ready to have a sibling or so you say at least. I think because everyone around you either have or soon will have a sibling, you probably feel left out. Now you say to us that you want a sister and a brother. I remind you how only a few months ago you wanted to be the only child. You reply that you were little yourself and now you are older and ready.

I keep writing in all of my blog posts how much we love you. Baby girl, never forget how deeply we feel for you. You brighten our days with your smile and laughter. You are our world now and our lives evolve around you. I hope and pray for you to have a long, beautiful life ahead of you. I hope and pray for you to have good and kind people around you. I really hope you will grow up to be kind, compassionate, and smart individual (and hope we will be around long enough to see). The day we found out we were expecting you, we had no idea how you would change our lives for the best and how much love we had to give you. Our love still grows for you with every single minute of the day. We love you to infinity and beyond!

Love,
Mom (and Dad).

Going Through Cycles Again

I still have a few posts to write about our last year's outing and holidays but I just want to take a moment and write about today.

Today is the day AF came. Today is the day we are starting cycle #4 of trying. I know I haven't updated the blog with the news that we've decided to expend our family. But here we are. Three cycles and AF showed up every time. Three cycles and who knows how long it will take. 7 cycles like last time? Less? More? Who knows?

After AF showed up the first time, on that exact day I got a phone call from my brother. They've told us their great news. They were expecting #2 and were already 10 weeks pg. Don't get me wrong. I am happy for them and excited. I hope this time they won't have to go through any complication and will have a healthy baby this summer. A few of my girlfriends are also knocked up with #2s.

Before I got the phone call, I was crushed. I am upset and in denial. For some weird reason I thought I was already pg after the first cycle. For some unknown to me reason I convinced myself that the second time around won't be as long as the first. (Now, I know there are people who go through years before getting pregnant and/or having medical procedures. I know because I have friends like that too. I feel for them). Was I stupid, naive? Maybe. Maybe I was just hopeful.

The first cycle hit me hard. The second cycle was a bit better for me emotionally. I was busy planning Miss A's bday party, a few more bdays were happening, and of course the holidays were coming up. Now that everything is behind us and the New Year has started, I was hoping that cycle #3 was the lucky one. Boy was I wrong again. AF came a day early.

I am charting and last cycle I use OPKs. I am more aware of my body and what it is going through every cycle. I know when the right moment is but we haven't had no luck yet.

I am getting emotional this cycle again (maybe it is the PMS). I feel like my body is way behind my heart and mind. I feel like I am failing my husband who is finally ready to be a daddy again. I feel like I am failing Miss A who is finally ready to have a sibling. I feel like I failing myself. I am putting pressure on myself too. All the thoughts about the age gap getting even larger with every cycle and me not getting any younger, and other random thought are making me stressed right now.

I am staying hopeful that we will get our BFP soon, really, really soon.

P.S. Can't believe I am using acronyms like AF, OPK, and BFP again.

Happy 3rd Birthday!

My darling, my love, my friend!

You turned three years old on 11/16. How in the world did it happen? Yes, I know every year we get  older but has it really been a year? The days pass us by in a blink of an eye.

The night of your birthday I stayed up late and watched the videos with your daddy from the night you were born. I cried, laughed, and was just amazed of how we got the best present we could ever hope for. I still remember the night you were born but some details are blurry. Those videos made me re-live the night we became your parents. The night that we waited for so long. The night that changed our lives completely.

Ahh...I am getting emotional again, just wiped the tears.

When you woke up we wished you a Happy Birthday. You found balloons and presents in the living room. As always, you weren't too fascinated by gifts but the whole process of opening them up was fun. You went to daycare and celebrated your bday with your friends. Your daddy and I picked you up earlier and were hoping to take you downtown for a ice skating show and tree lightning ceremony with Disney characters. But Mother Nature had different plans. It was raining hard and we had to change the plans. We asked you what you wanted to do and you said  you wanted to go to get cake and then go to a "susi restaurant" where we celebrated my birthday. Your wish was our command. We drove to the bakery where we got different little cakes and ordered a big one for your upcoming party.

Then, off we went to a restaurant. We drove around for 15 minutes until we found parking. Your gpa and gma were supposed to show up but at the end they didn't. You were crushed and kept asking why they didnt' come (it is a whole different story).

We had a very yummy dinner. You got your usual salmon teriyaki, miso soup, and you even tried some of our sushi. We took some pics in the restaurant and wished you Happy Birthday again.

At home, we finally lit the candles and enjoyed the goods from the bakery.

Your father and I thought long and hard what to do for your bday. Finally, we agreed that you would really enjoy a gymnastic class with all of your (and our) friends. We invited all of your besties from daycare and some of our friends' kids came too. A total of 18 kids and about 30 adults showed up to celebrate.

This is a party you just can't skip
It's gymnastics and you are going to flip
We'll jump, roll and hop
The fun will never stop!
Ariela's 3rd birthday will be great
Please join us to celebrate!

 



You had such a great time! You absolutely loved your party! You got a chance to do you favorite thing (gymnastics) with a bunch of your friends. What could be better than that? At the end, all of your guests could go on a boat with the slide. Since you are already a master at climbing that boat and your friends couldn't follow you, you stayed and helped them one by one to get on that boat. It really showed your carrying personality.

After all the fun, we ate and enjoyed the cake. You danced a little to your favorite tunes "Gummy Bear" and it was time to wrap up the party.

Our house looked like Toys R Us store for a while. I am sure all other kids would open their gifts right away and not let them just stand there. Your unwrapped all of them but only a few caught your attention. You amaze me. No, you really do. I still can't comprehend it all. We were taking some toys to the car and finally you asked where we are taking them. We told you we were going to exchange them for more interesting and educational stuff. I was waiting for a protest to start from your side but you just turned and asked "what can I carry?" You had no problem returning/exchanging your toys. You kept some puzzles and other educational gifts but you said you don't need the Cinderella with the carriage (seriously, I think other girls would flip over it), don't need the karaoke machine, don't need and won't play with other stuff.

I tell you I love you everyday. I am not sure if it is possible but my love still grows everyday.
Sometimes I just sit and look at you and can't believe you are our daughter. I can't believe that you are truly ours. It is hard to explain all of my feelings but just know I love you to infinity and beyond!

Mama

Halloween 2012

I am trying to catch-up with all of the events that happened in the last few months.

First of all, let me just say that the holidays now have a whole different meaning now that you are old enough to understand and enjoy it.

Halloween was fun! You dressed up as a little leopard ballerina with a black and pink tutu, cat ears, and black little nose. It suited you perfectly. It was sassy, girly, and adorable.

 I left work early that day and came to your daycare where you had a little party with all of your friends. Later, we met with my friends and their kids at the mall to go trick or treating but by the time we got there, all the candy was gone. We next drove to a very nice area where lots of the houses were decorated and almost everyone opened their doors to give some candy to kids.

You and Eli went from one house to another collecting candy. Sometimes you said "trickortweat" and sometimes you didn't. Sometimes you said "Tank you" and sometimes you didn't. I definitely had to remind you to be polite. Most of the time you just handed your little orange candy bag and waited for the sweet stuff.

I think you mostly liked the idea of running from one house to another. It wasn't even the candy that got you excited. It was the running and ringing the bell (trying to ring it first before Eli).

It wasn't until other kids started opening and eating some of their candy that you asked for one too. Honestly, you weren't into it at all even though we all know you like your chocolate.

Another highlight of the night was the house with the scary spider. If you came close to the house, the spider would pop up next to the bush and since it was dark outside nobody saw it. The little kids in front of us screamed and got scared. You, my little girl, got a little scared at first but then went back to the spider 3-4 times and ran back to me everytime.

At the end, we went home and you told Daddy how you spent your evening "trickortweating".
We took some pics at home in your costume. You told us you want to wear the same costume next year and go get more candy.

P.S. We are now in January and still have a bunch of Halloween candy left. I think you only ate 3-4 total, but don't worry, Mom will help you out :)