Realization

After a few years of postponing my jury duty, I was called yet again. And this time I decided to take some time from work and actually make it to the court house.
I drove downtown, parked the car, and got to my assigned room at 8:45 along with 100 other people. We waited, and waited, and waited some more. Finally, at 11:00am some people were asked to come back at 1:30 and others, including me, stayed and waited some more. After a large cup of coffee and waiting for a few hours, it was time to calm myself down. I got myself a medium cup of mint tea and chocolate chip cookie. I settled into my seat and read my book without any interruptions. I was annoyed about the waiting part, but I enjoyed the quite and peaceful moment. Nobody interrupted me, nobody stood in front of me with big puppy eyes and asked for my cookie, nobody shut my book before I got a chance to see what I page I was on, nobody asked for dinner, nobody asked me to play with them. Ahhhh...if it wasn't for the most uncomfortable seat, I would say it was the best break from work and from my house.

But here is when it all turned a different direction for me. I was asked to come back at 1:30 as well. I had the whole 1.5 hours to myself and decided to go window shopping. As I was leaving the courtroom, I walked past the Family Services. I suddenly turned grey. I've noticed forms for divorce, family counseling, restraining orders, parent's visiting hours. I've noticed single mothers with 2 kids sitting and waiting for their appointment. I saw the sad faces of teenagers who were eyeing the floor and shuffling their legs. I saw and heard innocent toddler giggles who had no idea how their lives did/will change. I saw mothers who were tired and miserable. All kind of family stories went through my head, as I kept picturing what this and that family was going through. My heart was aching for all of them.

I remember myself being 12 years old and watchiing and living through the family drama as my parents seperated. Those seconds, minutes, and days all came back to my memory all too vividly. I ran out of the courtroom and was waiting for fresh air and wind to kick me in the face and smack me out of that state. I walked for 30 straight minutes, passing the homeless people, the unemployed, the beggers, the hookers and drug dealers. I kept thinking about my life and my family and how much I don't always cherish everything I have. These sad, depressed moments make me realize how thankful we all should be. I can't keep the fights, misunderstandings, and occasionally hormonal bitchiness out from my life, but I will cherish and treasure everyone and everything I have.