Our Life Lately

Hello there, my blog. I’ve totally forgotten and abandoned about you. Good thing no one is really following it, otherwise at this speed I would have no readers at all.

There is a reason though why I’ve neglected you for so long. Life has been busy and by busy I am super, duper busy.

 

Let’s talk about my two girls J

Miss A – where do I start?

-          You are such a loving and caring young lady

-          You hold conversations like an older woman (or babushka as people in daycare call you)

-          You always ask where and what are we doing on the weekend

-          Lately, you’ve been asking about your birthday. You tell me who you want to invite, what cake to get and what food to order. So far, you liked Pump it Up (we’ve been there for another bday party) and you want to invite all of your girlfriends from daycare. You want to have a huge pink and purple cake with butterflies and rainbow. And apparently, the cake will not be enough since you asked me t get “pupcakes” (cupcakes) as well.

-          You’ve also asked when your sister will be born and why you cousin already has a baby brother and you don’t.

-          You love to dance!!! When we get home from daycare you usually change into a puffy dress or skirt and ask us to put some music on. Cutest thing ever! If we have someone over, then you’ll change outfits every 5 minutes to make sure people don’t leave without seeing your collection of dresses, tutus, and skirts.

-          You are still taking gymnastics classes and we recently enrolled you in a prep class for Kindergarten. They’ll be teaching Russian, Math, and English. The class will start in a few weeks and I’ll need to write an update on that.

-          I think most of the time you are a follower with your friends at daycare. There is an older girl, who is leaving this year, but she is very dominant and tells everyone what to do. And you and other little girl just follow what she says. I’ve noticed when she is not around, you are more of a leader and others try to follow you.

-          You performed at the “daycare graduation” for five kids that will be leaving to school this year. Only those kids should’ve been performing (singing and dancing) but you memorized all the songs and the teachers asked you to perform as well. Some parents were asking if/where A will go this year and I just replied she is staying for another year. She just likes to perform!

-          We try to go “swimming” to gma’s and gpa’s pool frequently. You are doing great with your puddle jumper but still afraid of water, especially if it gets into your eyes or on your face.

You are our sunshine and such a light in our life! You make us smile everyday but sometimes test our patience J You tell us you love us and give out kisses to us every day. What a great feeling and joy it is to be around you every day. I am very thankful to have you in my life.

I love you with all my heart and more!

 

Little One – we haven’t come up with a name yet. I’ll have to call you little one for now

-          You’ve been doing gymnastics or some other sport in there. I’ve been feeling all those rolls and turns you take

-          Daddy is finally used to the idea that he’ll have two daughters. Trust me he was shocked when he found out at the u/s that you are a GIRL but now he is totally cool.

-          Mommy is really excited to have two daughters. I hope you’ll have a special bond between the two of you. I hope you’ll be there for each other though out life and learn to lean and care for each other. I won’t lie; at first I thought we’ll have a boy. On the day of the big u/s I left confused at first. I got a little sad that I’ll never know or have a boy to raise but then I thought of all the positives of having two girls and the world became brighter! Like this was meant to be!

-          We went for another u/s on 08/16 because I’ve been having some pain on my upper right side and the doc wanted me to check it out. I am so glad we did. Your daddy was able to go with me. They couldn’t tell why I’ve been having pain (maybe your position and kicking or my ribs expanding to make room for you) but I was able to stare at you for 20 minutes. You were folded in half J Your legs were covering you face most of the time and the u/s tech was having a hard time. We got a few pictures to take home and your sister wanted to see them as well. They estimated you to be around 3lb 14oz, which is the 60 percentile. I’ve heard their estimates are not really accurate though.

-          I am feeling better in general, just get more tired towards the evening and the shortness of breath is really annoying

-          Yesterday, your sister felt you kick for the first time (she was just pretending before) and she started giggling J

 

It seems like time just flies by this time around but at the same time we still have about 2 more months. I can’t wait to meet you. I pray every day that you are healthy and that my body is doing everything to help you grow. I try to ignore the hard days with sickness, fatigue, shortness of breath, because at the end it won’t matter. The only thing matter to me is that you are healthy in there.

 

I love you with all of my expending heart, actually we are all already in love with you.

 

 

 

Too Many Updates

I realize it's been again a few months since my last blog entry. Where should I start???

February - found out we were expecting #2. Cautious, excited, scared. First appointment with the same doctor. First u/s to see the baby and hear the heart!

March - told our families. I started feeling nauseous. I would get sick during night, morning, but thankfully not at work. One time I had to stop the car and pull out a bag, that is how bad it was.
I gained way too many pounds since only the carbs made me fill good and full. I was starving every hour.

April - Went on a vacation to Mexico again but this time with different families. It was amazing! Miss A had a great time with her cousins. They swam, played, watched cartoons together. They went on stage to participate during the kid's program and danced every evening during the shows.
I wasn't really into going at first. After all, Mexico and pregnancy don't usually go together but I am glad we went. It was nice to get away, relax, and chill with my family.

May - I've started feeling a bit better and slowly started eating more healthier food. Salads started to look appealing to me (but only with butter lettuce). On May 31st we found out we were having another GIRL. I was shocked and thrilled. Mr. V was just shocked :) I'll write another post on this
Miss A had her performance at the Sunday school and did so great again. This little girl just like performing and being "on stage". She is officially on summer vacation but still attends daycare and gymnastics. We've started looking at school options. So far, we've had one tour and scheduled a few more for the end of summer/fall.

June - Feeling better yet again but gained way too many pounds. Every time the nurse weights me my eyes are about to pop. I swear there is something wrong with their weights. (I am in such denial).
My nephew was born on June 22nd, three weeks early. He is so tiny. I forgot what to do with such tiny little babies.

Miracle!!!

Oh wow, I can't believe I haven't blogged for so long. I have a lot of catching up. The last 4 months have been eventful, scary, tiring, but exciting.

Cycle #4 was our lucky one!!! Yes, I am pregnant!!! I can finally shout, although there is no need since I am already showing a little bump. Back in February i started getting all of my regular PMS symptoms and got hopeless about seeing two pink lines on the test that cycle. I even told Mr. V that.
But being very inpatient and wishing for the best (plus having lots of those internet cheapies on hand), I peed on the test at 10 DPO (Fe. 7th), left it on the sink, and took my time in the shower. I kept opening the shower door and glancing at the test. It was like a de ja vu all over again. I noticed a very, very faint pink line. I picked up the test and started looking at it from all the angles. And just like the first time, I had to confirm with a digital. I went to the store in the morning, peed at two more tests at work, and saw a very pretty work Pregnant on it and a more vivid second pink line on the other. It happened in exactly the same order as with our miss A and I just couldnt' believe it.

Later in the evening, I pulled up the some onesie I used to tell Mr. V about our first child and wrote on the other side " Will you also be my Daddy?". He saw the onesie, smiled, and asked if it was for real. We hugged, kissed, and got distracted with our little girl.

I was in denial at first. After all, I tested so early. So, what does a girl do? I kept testing for a few more weeks and cheapies and random test I had left. It was surreal to go through the feelings and emotions again. I kept praying everyday to see those magical two lines get darker and darker with days.

As days turned into week, the first waves in nausea hit me and hadn't left me just yet. The first time i got sick around 6-7 weeks. This time I got sick even during the night. The feeling of being sick woke me up at night and I had to run to the bathroom. There were a few nights when I didn't even know what to do first - throw up or pee. Seriously, so not cool when you are holding your pee and every time I barfed I felt like I'll pee all over myself.

I am still feeling nauseous but now it is mostly in the morning when I brush my teeth or get ready for work. Now, I've been staying up till 11pm or 12am. This is huge comparing to previous weeks when I would fall asleep with miss A around 10pm.

We told the parents and families around 7-8 weeks and they all were very excited for us.

December Events

Let's continue with our events from last year.

School Performance - In the middle of December your Sunday school put together a little performance for the holiday. Let me just say, you shined and rocked the "stage". I was so proud of you. You weren't shy at all like you can be at first. You always had a great impression on your face and gesturing with your hands when you sang. Cutest thing ever. At one point, I was laughing so hard. You really looked like you enjoyed yourself on stage. One of the grandma's sitting next to me, asked if you were my kid and I said yes. Then she goes "I think you need to take her straight to Hollywood". I giggled but also thought the same thing.


Kid Gift Exchange - It is been a few years and sort of turned into a tradition by now. A group of our friends get together, have dinner, and then exchange gifts (just for the kids). This year, as the kids get older, it is more fun to see them socialize, play with each other, open and get excited about their gifts. Miss A was helping with getting the gifts under the tree and giving them to the kids.


New Year - We stayed at home to celebrate New Years. I think we actually stayed at home for the last few years. Mr. V's parents came over and my parents came over around midnight. They spent some time with my brother first at their house. Miss A decided to not go to sleep and stayed up till 12:05am. As we poured champagne into our glasses and began the countdown, miss A was counting with out. She got so excited that when midnight stroke and everyone was wishing each other Happy New Year, miss A totally didn't know what the hype was all about. She turned to me and asked "Mommy, where is the New Year". I explained that it is not something physical she can see or touch. She listened carefully, thought for a few seconds, and then said "Mom, I want to go to sleep". The next day she woke up and opened all of her gifts from Ded Moroz (Santa), parents, g-parents, and cousins.

Adding to Yesterday's Post

A few weeks ago I saw an ad on FB to enter a drawing for a cord blood banking. I did enter but totally forgot about it. At that point, I thought why not? We haven't done it with miss A maybe the second time around we would want to.

Fast forward to today... I am sitting at work and my phone rings. Rachael calls from Cord Blood banking to talk. I tell her it is not a good time. After all I have my boss sitting right next to me. Before she hangs up she says Congratulations! Ummm... I had to pause and think. What are you talking about lady? Do you know something I don't know?

It hit me only after I hung up. She thought the women who entered the drawing are already expecting, otherwise, what is the point of entering. I hope I wasn't the only woman who registered and not is not pregnant.

Anyways, after our short chat Rachael followed up with an email. Hey, Rachael, thanks for a laugh and hopefully you are right on time!

Somebody Slap Me Out of This Stage

Really. I think I need a big slap on my face or a bucket of cold water thrown at me.
This whole TTC process is exhausting my mind. I have to say I am OK most of the day and remain hopefull that the current cycle might be our lucky one. But (there is always a but) there are days when I feel down. There are days when I envy a little all of my girlfriends who are currently pregnant.
 

And I know it is stupid to be envious. I know, I really do! I mean one couple had to wait three years until they got a BFP. Another couple had to go the IVF route. And a few more couples just got knocked up on the first try. I also can’t help my mind to wonder and imagine what life will be like with two kids, how we’ll all need to adjust, how miss A will feel about us splitting our time between 2 kids.

Today is again one of the days when I feel sad. As the days, weeks, and months pass me by, I feel like I get more and more swallowed into the whole TTC process. I am starting to think of new strategies to use (OPK, monitor, temp, and so on) and forget to enjoy the whole process. So stupid but so true.

 

 Hopefully, this too will pass!

Circus Time (12/06/12)

It was a regular Sunday morning. After your Sunday school one of the moms talked about the circus happening that same day. Your dad and I look exchanged a questionable look and headed to the store to see if there are any tickets left. See how spontaneous we can be occasionally? :)

We got the tickets. The task at hand was to have you nap for a little while and then head out to make it on time for a 3pm performance. In all honesty though, who schedules performances during the day. I am pretty sure most of the kids have nap times at that time.

We struggled with nap time. You didn't want to sleep. We bargained with you/. We threatened
 you "if you won't sleep, then you won't go" but nothing seems to work. I became frustrated and thought the whole spontaneous ticket purchase was not a good idea after all.

It was time to get ready and leave the house. You got up from the bed and started jumping and screaming "yay, circus, yay".

 

Well, we finally made it and you loved it. You followed the animals and their tricks. You laughed at clowns and you clapped when it was time to clap. You were pointing your little fingers and saying "mama, see, sobaka (dog)". Overall, we all had a good time (if I forget of course the one hours of hectic negotiations with you).

P.S. After this, your daddy and I got tickets to a Disney on Ice performance. It'll be the first for the whole family as well but we have to patiently wait until February.

Our Three Year Old

Let's catch-up a little on what our little lady is up to:

1. I think the biggest accomplishment was that you were 100% potty trained a week before your third birthday. You just woke up that day and decided you didn't need diapers anymore to do #2 business. At that point you were already wearing big girl panties but still asked for diapers to do #2.

2. With you potty trained, I was finally able to breath a little. I think I mentioned earlier that you refused to poop for 3-4 days in a row. It would hurt after and you would ask for diaper and only then you would do your #2 business. The pediatrician wanted us to try medicine but I didn't want to get you hooked on some random medicine for 2-3 months. I was relieved when you started asking for #1 and #2.

3. Let's just finish with all this potty stuff, shall we? After talking last year to a few parents, I've heard stories how their kids woke them up in the middle of the night, every single night, and asked to go potty. I was sort of dreading that moment. We were finally getting a full night sleep and I just couldn't imagine waking up in the middle of the night again. Well, baby girl, I think you are an exception. You don't wake up at night to go potty. I thank you for that!

4. However, you do wake us up for a few minutes when you march into our room with your pillow in tow, climb our bed, and fall asleep. And this happens pretty much every single night. Sometimes, you forget to bring the pillow and either I or you daddy has to get up. Sometimes you bring more than just your pillow. Your little lady bug projector and your blanket sometimes end up in our room as well.

5. You still love your gymnastics class. You started the gymnastics class at a new school and you tell us you never want to go back to the old one. The new class is more advanced and I would say more challenging. Your teacher is Russian speaking lady who usually talks to you in Russian. Once you got comfortable with her, you tell her stories when we walk in the class and you always want to get her attention when you are doing gymnastics. "Lana, Lana, see chto ya delau" ( look what I can do).

6. You know the colors, the ABC in English and know almost all letters in Russian, and numbers you can say numbers in both languages up to 20.

7. You can write certain words, especially if I spell it out to you letter by letter. You love writing your name in both English and Russian on all your art projects.

8. You are very carrying towards your cousin Alyssa. You give her toys. You kiss her every time you get out of the grandpa's car. You always want her to come in and play with you. You treat her like a little doll.

9. You are my dancing queen, young and sweet only three year old. Baby girl, you just LOVE to dance and you are so good at it. Your body starts moving right when the music starts. You make your own moves and love when people watch you. Sometimes you say "vistupaet Ariela" (Ariela performing") and start dancing and singing.

10. You like singing just as much. You amaze me at how many songs you know already. I have to give credit to your daddy. Every morning he turns on the music in the car when he drives you to daycare.

11. You are still attending the Russian Sunday school and you already feel comfortable with Nellya (Russian language teacher) and you have yet to like Larissa (the music teacher). You are learning songs, dance, and New Year's rhymes for an upcoming holiday performance.

12. You are so grown-up for your age. You continue to amaze me with your language skills. Your sentences are structured and include complex words/phrases. Faina, the daycare owner, tells us how you don't like to waste your words and usually express yourself like a grown-up person.

13. I've noticed you are a bit shy at first around new people but once you feel comfortable you'll want to show them your room, toys, dance moves, art projects, books, and so on.

14. You like playing with dolls now. You pretend they are your little babies. Your feed them, cover them with a blanket, soothe them, and rock them to sleep. Sometimes, I play with you in your room. You like trading places with me. I get into your bed and pretend I am you. You pretend you are me and start playing like it is my time to go to bed. You use my words and phrases (pora spat', zakrivai glazki, bistren'ko spat'). I always have a laugh when I hear you talk like me.

15. You are finally ready to have a sibling or so you say at least. I think because everyone around you either have or soon will have a sibling, you probably feel left out. Now you say to us that you want a sister and a brother. I remind you how only a few months ago you wanted to be the only child. You reply that you were little yourself and now you are older and ready.

I keep writing in all of my blog posts how much we love you. Baby girl, never forget how deeply we feel for you. You brighten our days with your smile and laughter. You are our world now and our lives evolve around you. I hope and pray for you to have a long, beautiful life ahead of you. I hope and pray for you to have good and kind people around you. I really hope you will grow up to be kind, compassionate, and smart individual (and hope we will be around long enough to see). The day we found out we were expecting you, we had no idea how you would change our lives for the best and how much love we had to give you. Our love still grows for you with every single minute of the day. We love you to infinity and beyond!

Love,
Mom (and Dad).

Going Through Cycles Again

I still have a few posts to write about our last year's outing and holidays but I just want to take a moment and write about today.

Today is the day AF came. Today is the day we are starting cycle #4 of trying. I know I haven't updated the blog with the news that we've decided to expend our family. But here we are. Three cycles and AF showed up every time. Three cycles and who knows how long it will take. 7 cycles like last time? Less? More? Who knows?

After AF showed up the first time, on that exact day I got a phone call from my brother. They've told us their great news. They were expecting #2 and were already 10 weeks pg. Don't get me wrong. I am happy for them and excited. I hope this time they won't have to go through any complication and will have a healthy baby this summer. A few of my girlfriends are also knocked up with #2s.

Before I got the phone call, I was crushed. I am upset and in denial. For some weird reason I thought I was already pg after the first cycle. For some unknown to me reason I convinced myself that the second time around won't be as long as the first. (Now, I know there are people who go through years before getting pregnant and/or having medical procedures. I know because I have friends like that too. I feel for them). Was I stupid, naive? Maybe. Maybe I was just hopeful.

The first cycle hit me hard. The second cycle was a bit better for me emotionally. I was busy planning Miss A's bday party, a few more bdays were happening, and of course the holidays were coming up. Now that everything is behind us and the New Year has started, I was hoping that cycle #3 was the lucky one. Boy was I wrong again. AF came a day early.

I am charting and last cycle I use OPKs. I am more aware of my body and what it is going through every cycle. I know when the right moment is but we haven't had no luck yet.

I am getting emotional this cycle again (maybe it is the PMS). I feel like my body is way behind my heart and mind. I feel like I am failing my husband who is finally ready to be a daddy again. I feel like I am failing Miss A who is finally ready to have a sibling. I feel like I failing myself. I am putting pressure on myself too. All the thoughts about the age gap getting even larger with every cycle and me not getting any younger, and other random thought are making me stressed right now.

I am staying hopeful that we will get our BFP soon, really, really soon.

P.S. Can't believe I am using acronyms like AF, OPK, and BFP again.

Happy 3rd Birthday!

My darling, my love, my friend!

You turned three years old on 11/16. How in the world did it happen? Yes, I know every year we get  older but has it really been a year? The days pass us by in a blink of an eye.

The night of your birthday I stayed up late and watched the videos with your daddy from the night you were born. I cried, laughed, and was just amazed of how we got the best present we could ever hope for. I still remember the night you were born but some details are blurry. Those videos made me re-live the night we became your parents. The night that we waited for so long. The night that changed our lives completely.

Ahh...I am getting emotional again, just wiped the tears.

When you woke up we wished you a Happy Birthday. You found balloons and presents in the living room. As always, you weren't too fascinated by gifts but the whole process of opening them up was fun. You went to daycare and celebrated your bday with your friends. Your daddy and I picked you up earlier and were hoping to take you downtown for a ice skating show and tree lightning ceremony with Disney characters. But Mother Nature had different plans. It was raining hard and we had to change the plans. We asked you what you wanted to do and you said  you wanted to go to get cake and then go to a "susi restaurant" where we celebrated my birthday. Your wish was our command. We drove to the bakery where we got different little cakes and ordered a big one for your upcoming party.

Then, off we went to a restaurant. We drove around for 15 minutes until we found parking. Your gpa and gma were supposed to show up but at the end they didn't. You were crushed and kept asking why they didnt' come (it is a whole different story).

We had a very yummy dinner. You got your usual salmon teriyaki, miso soup, and you even tried some of our sushi. We took some pics in the restaurant and wished you Happy Birthday again.

At home, we finally lit the candles and enjoyed the goods from the bakery.

Your father and I thought long and hard what to do for your bday. Finally, we agreed that you would really enjoy a gymnastic class with all of your (and our) friends. We invited all of your besties from daycare and some of our friends' kids came too. A total of 18 kids and about 30 adults showed up to celebrate.

This is a party you just can't skip
It's gymnastics and you are going to flip
We'll jump, roll and hop
The fun will never stop!
Ariela's 3rd birthday will be great
Please join us to celebrate!

 



You had such a great time! You absolutely loved your party! You got a chance to do you favorite thing (gymnastics) with a bunch of your friends. What could be better than that? At the end, all of your guests could go on a boat with the slide. Since you are already a master at climbing that boat and your friends couldn't follow you, you stayed and helped them one by one to get on that boat. It really showed your carrying personality.

After all the fun, we ate and enjoyed the cake. You danced a little to your favorite tunes "Gummy Bear" and it was time to wrap up the party.

Our house looked like Toys R Us store for a while. I am sure all other kids would open their gifts right away and not let them just stand there. Your unwrapped all of them but only a few caught your attention. You amaze me. No, you really do. I still can't comprehend it all. We were taking some toys to the car and finally you asked where we are taking them. We told you we were going to exchange them for more interesting and educational stuff. I was waiting for a protest to start from your side but you just turned and asked "what can I carry?" You had no problem returning/exchanging your toys. You kept some puzzles and other educational gifts but you said you don't need the Cinderella with the carriage (seriously, I think other girls would flip over it), don't need the karaoke machine, don't need and won't play with other stuff.

I tell you I love you everyday. I am not sure if it is possible but my love still grows everyday.
Sometimes I just sit and look at you and can't believe you are our daughter. I can't believe that you are truly ours. It is hard to explain all of my feelings but just know I love you to infinity and beyond!

Mama

Halloween 2012

I am trying to catch-up with all of the events that happened in the last few months.

First of all, let me just say that the holidays now have a whole different meaning now that you are old enough to understand and enjoy it.

Halloween was fun! You dressed up as a little leopard ballerina with a black and pink tutu, cat ears, and black little nose. It suited you perfectly. It was sassy, girly, and adorable.

 I left work early that day and came to your daycare where you had a little party with all of your friends. Later, we met with my friends and their kids at the mall to go trick or treating but by the time we got there, all the candy was gone. We next drove to a very nice area where lots of the houses were decorated and almost everyone opened their doors to give some candy to kids.

You and Eli went from one house to another collecting candy. Sometimes you said "trickortweat" and sometimes you didn't. Sometimes you said "Tank you" and sometimes you didn't. I definitely had to remind you to be polite. Most of the time you just handed your little orange candy bag and waited for the sweet stuff.

I think you mostly liked the idea of running from one house to another. It wasn't even the candy that got you excited. It was the running and ringing the bell (trying to ring it first before Eli).

It wasn't until other kids started opening and eating some of their candy that you asked for one too. Honestly, you weren't into it at all even though we all know you like your chocolate.

Another highlight of the night was the house with the scary spider. If you came close to the house, the spider would pop up next to the bush and since it was dark outside nobody saw it. The little kids in front of us screamed and got scared. You, my little girl, got a little scared at first but then went back to the spider 3-4 times and ran back to me everytime.

At the end, we went home and you told Daddy how you spent your evening "trickortweating".
We took some pics at home in your costume. You told us you want to wear the same costume next year and go get more candy.

P.S. We are now in January and still have a bunch of Halloween candy left. I think you only ate 3-4 total, but don't worry, Mom will help you out :)